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I made these

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Inspired by the rainbow logo and tagline at the end of this classic commercial, I spent a few minutes on pixlr.com turning Chad Thorson's OSR logo into this stuff.  This was primarily for my own amusement and as part of my ongoing efforts to suck less at graphical stuff.  But hey, maybe you can get some use out of one of these.  Or maybe you can go and do a better one.

I also had a version that said "Old School Ruckus" under the logo, but I'm not actually trying to make fetch happen.

(PS I don't have larger versions.)


LotFP vs BX - operations

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"Operations" is my pet term for the things you do to make an adventure happen that aren't the fighty rules.  Obviously in some games most of the operations rules are in the skill section, while others fold combat and operations into some sort of universal mechanic.  LotFP is more focused on skills than pre-1989 editions of AD&D, but it is still not a heavy skill-based game.  Furthermore, LotFP uses my favorite way of resolving darn near anything: throw d6, roll low for success.

The operations chapter in LotFP (titled "Adventuring: The Rules of the Game") is broken down into 20 subsections arranged alphabetically.  Each section is one or more paragraphs in length.  To avoid this post becoming too long to be useful, I'll try to keep my analysis of each to a sentence or two.

Architecture - Dwarven-type stone lore, but since this is now a skill, everybody else gets a 1 in 6 and Specialists can improve it.

Climbing - Another base 1 in 6 chance skill (no roll needed if both hands free and using ropes or a ladder), failure indicates a fall from a random point along the climb.

Doors - Useful rules for multiple people on the same door, crowbars, breaking down doors and the time it involves.  A simple but nice improvement on BX.

Excavations - Rule for how fast people can dig.  I'd compare it to the rates in the DMG but it's in another room and I am snug under a blanket right now.

Experience Points - Combat points are earned only for dangerous foes killed, KO'd, routed, or captured.  Chart similar to the one in BX but simplified nicely.  1xp per 1sp looted from adventure areas only.  You level up only after you return to a safe place.

Foraging & Hunting - Nice rules based on the Bushcraft skill.  I'm slightly put off by the lack of explicit rules for fishing.

Getting Lost - Similar to BX, but the Bushcraft skill can avoid the problem.  Since halflings are great at Bushcraft every wilderness expedition should include one.

Hazards -  Subsections here for ability score loss, aging, damage (KO'd at 0 hp, mortally wounded at -3 leading to death in d10 minutes, stone dead at -4), disease, drugs & alcohol (drunk characters are -2 dex and saves), falling, poison, starvation, and sleep deprivation.

Healing - Three tiers for healing rate: half hit points or more heal fastest, less than half heal slow, 0HP or less heal even slower.  At the fastest rate full bed rest only heals 1d3 per day.  No natural healing in dungeons.

Languages - Now a 1 in 6 skill but Int mods apply.  Each time you encounter a new tongue roll to see if you know it.  Penalties apply to the roll if the language is outside your culture.  I can't get behind the -3 penalty for dead tongues, though.  That means only Specialists who focus on linguistics or people with Int scores of 18 can learn them.

Light and Vision - Straightforward rules for lanterns, torches, and candles.

Mapping - Explicitly requires one party member carry paper and ink and nothing else in their hands.

Movement & Encumbrance - The best encumbrance rules I've seen in a published rulebook.  You count items instead of pounds or coins.  Identical small items can be grouped into a single item (e.g. 20 arrows), while 100 coins make a single item.  Up to 10 items is 120' movement, up to 15 is 90' movement, up to 20 is 60'.  Carrying an oversized item (including Great weapons) bumps you down the movement scale.  Also, great rules for mounts here.

Searching - Specifies that finding a secret door and knowing how to open it are not the same thing.

Sleight of Hand - Pick pockets and other shenanigans.

Stealth - Move silently/hide in shadows bundled into a single base 1 in 6 skill.

Swimming - LotFP assumes all PCs can swim but gives a 90% drowning chance to anyone with a movement rate of 60' or slower due to encumbrance.

Time - An exploration turn is 10 minutes.  A combat round is six seconds.  A segment is one second.

Tinkering - Locks, traps, jury-rigging, and other mechanical shenanigans.

Traps - Mostly general advice, but I like the optional rule here that spellcasters can be allowed a 1 in 6 chance to detect a magical trap.

Overall, lots of very sensible parings-down and beefings-up of the BX rules, presented in clear, concise language.  This is probably my favorite chapter in the LotFP Rules & Magic book, as it provides many nicely streamlined ways for the PCs to get into all sorts of trouble.

the Broodmother that might have been

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Here's a little trivia about Broodmother Skyfortress (still available here and in PDF-only here).  At one time in the development process I wanted this to be the cover art:


That's an illustration by late 19th/early 20th century artist Henry Justice Ford.  It appears in The Green Fairy Book, one of 25 or so such volumes compiled by Scottish literary critic Andrew Lang and his wife, who I've not seen addressed as anything but "Mrs. Lang." Not that I go too deep into this stuff.

Among other stuff in its pages, The Green Fairy Book has a version of the 3 Little Pigs that features houses of mud and cabbage instead of sticks and straw.  IIRC there's a fox instead of a wolf in that one as well.  The 3 Bear also appear, but they frighten a Little Old Woman instead of Goldilocks.  You can read the stories yourself on Project Gutenberg (text-only) or check out this nice scan on the Internet Archive.

Ford's illustration above features Grumedan the Enchanter, a man so large four of the king's strongest men struggle to carry his club.  He serves as the antagonist of the delightfully named tale "Prince Narcissus and the Princes Potentilla." As Telecanter pointed out in 2011, this illo clearly inspired Trampier's cloud giant in the original Monster Manual.

So my idea was to put this illo on the cover of Broodmother as a way of faking out the players.  As play begins they catch a glance of cover art that resembles canonical cloud giants, then WHAM!  The referee hits them over the head with shark-elephant-centaur dudes wrecking their shit.  It would have worked, too, if not for you meddling kids James Raggi's insistence that using public domain art is unprofessional.

Reason #147 to Love the Internet:
Googling "Scooby Doo unmasked shark"
got me exactly what I wanted on the first result.

how to do a thing like the Wessex online campaign

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Over on the Google+ I was queried about the ins and outs of running a many-player online campaign like I did with my last big Wessex game.  I've had a couple of days to think about this, and here are the things that helped make that game work and/or what I would do if I attempted the run such a beast again.

Keep the Paper Flowing

Keeping track of a bunch of players is a logistical/bureaucratic process.  You need to know who your player pool is, how to contact them, and a way of tracking who has played when.  I recommend having people sign up by answering a survey made with Google Forms.  Experience using surveys with students suggest that you need to limit yourself to 10 questions or less and any question that requires more than a one or two word answer counts double.  Here's what I might ask:

  • What is your name?
  • What's an email address you can be reached at?
  • What is your Google+ handle?
  • If you have a FLAILSNAILS PC, what is theire name/race/class/level? (You aren't committing to playing that exact PC and no other, I'm just curious)
  • Tell me one weird thing about your PC [this would count as 2 questions]
  • Any special concerns about the game? I.e. schedule wonkiness, are you hearing impaired, is there a kind of monster that you really can't deal with?  [also 2 questions]

Google Forms allows you to dump all that info into a spreadsheet, to which I would add columns to track who played in what game.  That way I can tell at a glance that Bob has played 5 of the last 8 sessions, so maybe someone else needs a chance, meanwhile Christine has been on the list since the beginning and still hasn't got to play.  Speaking of which...

There's More Than One Way to Make a Party

I used several methods to decide who got to be in any particular session.  Random selection was a common one.  Keeping an eye out so that more people got a chance to play was another.  However, I also had really good luck with some hybrid methods, such as keeping one player from the previous session and randomly select three others.  This allowed for some continuity of play.  A couple of times I picked one player (randomly or not) and let them recruit the rest of the team.  This worked best on the occasions that I got emails from players who clearly had an interesting agenda for the game.

Communication Routes

You need a clearly labeled channel for official communiques from you to the entire player pool.  Obviously this blog was handy for that.  You also need a central venue for players to talk about the game, like G+ or a facebook group or something.  Also, the use of a single regular drinking establishment in the campaign combined with the carousing rules encouraging PC inebriation worked really well in allowing me to regularly broadcast details of the adventures that would otherwise be hush-hush.  If the players spent hundreds of gold expressly to get blotto and earned XPs in the process, then there was no room to complain about me occasionally exposing the secret results of their session.  This is important because you want enough info out there that the next party will have one or more ideas what to do with your dungeon.

Multiple Routes to Trouble

If I did one smart thing in setting up my dungeon, it was taking inspiration from the Caves of Chaos in terms of the number of ways into the adventure.  Fresh groups knew they could try one of the entrances no one else had and find a fresh new bit of fun waiting for them, while veterans could move quickly through previously covered ground to reach deeper levels and more troubles & treasures.  (By the way, if it hasn't been used I totally call dibs on Troubles & Treasures as a title for something.)  And go ahead and make some of the entrances a bigger pain than others.  Two of my favorite sessions started with players who decided to enter the most flood-prone sea cave and the time a group excavated the rubble pile to find a new stairs down.  Sometimes to have an adventure you gotta do things the hard way.  Heck, start with an obvious but magically sealed alternate entrance.  It will drive players crazy.

Simple rules, simple setting

If you want the largest possible player pool you can't really make the larger milieu the star of the game, nor can you use a system where building a new PC feels like homework.  Obviously, my setting mattered a lot to my game, but in a way that unfolded naturally through play rather than requiring significant briefing ahead of time.  Also, try making a shared Google Doc with absolutely everything needed to make a new PC for your game.  The shorter that document is, the better.

And don't run a system where you have to look up a lot of stuff all the time.  Working through mechanical problems seems even more annoying when playing with people online.  Better to run a dumb system you know down pat than a great system you're still struggling with.  And remember, when in doubt give any vaguely plausible plan a 2 in 6 chance of success, but a roll of six means things go ridiculously bad for the party.

Maintain your dungeon

PCs in dungeons are like preschoolers in a library: lots of people have fun but when it's done a bunch of shit has been haphazardly rearranged and there's bodily fluids all over the place.  In addition to noting monsters killed and treasures looted, it's extra important that you track any other changes: marks left, blood stains, traps disassembled, burnt out torches abandoned, etc.  Oozes, vermin, and kobold janitors can clean some of that stuff up for you, but the players will eat it up if you leave traces of previous expeditions about the place.  And once in a while shake up your dungeon status quo: move some monsters around, add a new trap in a previously-explored corridor, have an umber hulk or purple worm burrow some tunnels making strange new connections.

Well, that's all I got in me at the moment.  Maybe some of my supercool players will chime in with what worked and didn't work for them.

the Winter War meeple encounter

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Over the weekend I managed to get over to Winter War 44, the forty-fourth annual gathering of game weirdos in Champaign, Il.  Sometimes I give the false impression that I am an old school guy.  The dudes who founded this convention bought their copies of OD&D at GenCon the year it came out.  One of them wrote pedit5, the earliest documented dungeon crawl computer game.  (The name is designed to look like a legit program, since it was unauthorized use of U of I's computer resources.)  Compared to them, I'm one of the snot-nosed new kids.

I used to go to this convention every year and run stuff and help staff it, but grad school rearranges one's priorities in a pretty big way, especially when you feel you have to work twice as hard to keep up with people half your age.  But my daughter wanted to go and play some games with her old dad.  How can I say no to that?

Before I get into the meat of this post, I want to send a message to Andrew.  This young man introduced himself as a fan of this blog, which was quite gratifying.  I didn't chitchat with him much because sometimes find myself slightly embarrassed when I meet a gameblog fan in the real world.  Basically because I can hardly believe that my readers are actual people living in the real world.  In a  later conversation with a mutual friend I learned that Andrew lives in the same town as I.  Andrew, if you are reading this, please send me an email so we can maybe play a game together.

Anyway, my daughter and I played some AD&D first edition run by cool cat Alex Riedel.  You might've seen me post on G+ about fighting doombats, skeletons, and a Skeleton Warrior.  I'm pretty sure that if we didn't run out of time we'd also have faced an Eye of Fear and Flame and maybe a Crypt Thing, too.  There was a "you are about to be murdered by 3 exotic undead" theme going on in the scenario.

At one point I was caught in a death trap with 2 other party members.  I was certain we wouldn't be able to solve the puzzle to deactivate the trap, so I drank a potion of diminution and escaped through the bars of the portcullis that had locked us in.  Imagine my embarrassment when the other two guys figured out the puzzle and also got out.  "Sorry I left you for dead, dudes?" One guy admitted he would've done the same thing if he had the potion.  The other gave me the side-eye.

Since my daughter Elizabeth doesn't play that much D&D and we were in a mid-level scenario, I urged her to pick a fighter from the pre-gens.  She was having none of that.  She wanted the raw power of wizardry to be hers to command.  I was so proud of her blatant lust for cosmic power.  She managed to hold onto her lightning bolt until the big boss battle and effectively deployed it without catching anyone in a ricochet.  Too bad the dang monster was immune to its effect.

The other game we played was Search for the Emperor's Treasure.
I tried to get Elizabeth to turn to face the camera for this shot,
but she was too into the game to pay any attention to me just then.
Search is a delightful number from Tom Wham designed to emulate overland D&D-type treasure hunting and monster fighting.  The original version was published in Dragon #51.  The game was also reprinted in The Best of Dragon Games, but with a less amazing map.  The original map was done by Darlene Pekul.  She's better known for the classic World of Greyhawk hexmaps and the succubus in the back of the DMG, among other things.  Check this baby out:

You could use this as the campaign map for a pretty sweet little D&D campaign.
The Best of Dragon Games version uses a function but much less pleasing map.  The rest of the components in both versions are illustrated by Tom Wham in his usual cartoony style.  

Mertwig's Maze, published by TSR, is Wham covering the same ground thematically and is also fun on a bun.  I recommend omitting the final dungeon from play, though.  It's a bit anti-climactic and not needed at all.  King of the Tabletop (Dragon #77, errata #78) does fantasy battles and strategery in the Wham fashion.  It was later re-made into Kings & Things (West End Games, later Z-Man Games).

One of the most hilarious mechanics of Search for the Emperor's Treasure is that it is fairly easy for your adventurer to be be barred from a town or castle as a public nuisance.  One player's wizard ended up getting kicked out of four different spaces on the map.  That's player-charactering at its best.

As is often the case at cons, the guy running this moldy old game had given it a deluxe makeover.  I've seen this sort of work done with Kingmaker and several other boardgames.  (And I fantasize about doing the same thing to the old TSR mini-game Revolt on Antares.)  Scott, the referee, had the small map (11" x 17" originally) blown up to poster size. And he created some sweet custom character sheets, which were laminated.  He also upgraded some of the playing pieces, which is why the word "meeple" appears in the title of this post.

Instead of the original tiny cardstock chits, we marked are location on the map with these sweet-ass meeple-style silhouettes, from this set:
Actual sizes here range from 24mm to 52mm.  The human figures are roughly scaled to modern 35mm figs.
Apparently these babies were successfully kickstarted and have subsequently completely sold out without me ever catching wind of their existence!  Apparently Fantasy Meeples were kickstarted by Gamelyn Games and sold through Meeple Source.

I love minis at the game table because they help everyone understand spatial relationships between PCs, monsters, and objects.  I hate minis at the game table because the spectacle of the tabletop sometimes distracts from the imaginative space where the game is actually happening.  Fantasy Meeples do the job of game pieces while being suggestive rather than definitive.  That's the sort of ambiguity I could use in my D&D games.  And they're cute, too.

So, if like me, you'd like a set of these babies but missed them the first time around, please consider going to this page and leaving a message for Gamelyn asking them to produce more Fantasy Meeples.

donate, get free book

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So here's an announcement from James Raggi of Lamentations of the Flame Princess:

29.01.2017: Donate, Get a Book

LotFP is offering a free book to anyone who donates US$50 or more to the ACLU.
Conditions:
  • Offer is good for donations made from January 29 2017 onward.
  • One free book per person.
  • Offer good through February 2017, or until we give away 500 books, whichever comes first.
  • Books available through this offer: http://www.lotfp.com/store/
  • (yes, you can pick a t-shirt instead)
  • Email proof of your donation to lotfp@lotfp.com along with your desired book and your shipping address.
  • You will not be added to any mailing list, your information won't be passed on, etc.

My Broodmother Skyfortress, Kiel Chenier's Blood in the Chocolate, and Zak Smith's A Red & Pleasant Land all qualify for this offer.

Pass it on!

20 areas that might hold dungeon levels in Piranesi's Carceri, plate VI

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I am slightly obsessed with 18th century artist Giovanni Piranesi's collection Carceri d'invenzione ("Imaginary Prisons").  Piranesi draws vast, gothic 3-dimensional structures that I would love to implement in my dungeons.  So I figured I'd try imagining a scenario where I'd use Piranesi directly as a handout.  The idea is that the dungeon would use one or more of the Carceri as the key branching point of the dungeon, the way the box canyon in Keep on the Borderlands allows one to access any of the various Caves of Chaos.

In other words, give the players this picture (minus the red) and ask them where they want to go.

Whaddya think?

(PS Here's the unmarked original)

Broodmother Skyfortress invades the US!

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After an unusually long transatlantic transit time, Noble Knight games finally has Broodmother Skyfortressin stock (though they got the name slightly wrong)!  If you've been avoiding buying it because you didn't want to deal with international shipping or you're allergic to transactions in Euros, now is the time to get yourself a copy!

What People Are Saying About Broodmother Skyfortress:

"For any D&D-like system, I think this is a far better introduction to the game than the Lost Mines of Phandelver." --redditor 3d6skills

"It might be the best primer thus far on running things by the seat of your pants in an OSR manner" --Bryce Lynch of tenfootpole.org

"Broodmother Skyfortress is a chance for the Referee to kick over the ant’s hill that is his campaign" --Pookie UK of Reviews from R'lyeh

"I really like Jeff's approach to Broodmother SkyFortress - tight enough that the storyline is easy to follow, loose enough that you can flex it to the needs of your players / campaign world. That is always a trick, as most adventures are written for a certain campaign world and setting, even if that is never actually said in the adventure."     --Erik Tenkar of Tenkar's Tavern

"It's literally snap (Jeffs Gygaxian & Marvelesque tone), Crackle (the Kirby borders and thrillin' heroism) and pop (the direct incorporation of the pop-cultural elements in both content and narrative voice and the vibrant splash pages)." --Patrick Stuart at his blog False Machine

"(1) Broodmother Skyfortress is very awesome; (2) Your game will certainly improve if you use Rient's advice; (3) if we are making comparisons here, buying other adventures opens the door to the very real possibility of being disappointed – it is that good. This is probably my first review where I don't have any critiques." --Corey Walden at the Fiendish Almanack

"This is awesome! Broodmother Skyfortess is a gonzo take on the famous flying castle with giants trope. By gonzo I mean nonsensical although in a very consistent fashion (if this make sense at all). Broodmother Skyfortess not only delivers on its absurd premise but pumps it over 9000! And it does that supported in two fronts: really GM-friendly content and art/layout." --Tower of the Lonely GM

"BMSF is a module that was worth waiting for. For your money you get a kickass adventure, and some of the best advice the OSR ever provided." --Vorpal Mace

"Reading this will make you think about wrecking your campaign. I'm not sure it's a good thing, but I'll probably do it to mine." --Eric Nieudan on Google Plus

"I have never waited excitedly for an RPG product to come out ever. I just am not that kinda guy. But this--this I've been waiting for. I read and ran an early draft and it became major canon in my game because it involved a flying island crashing into a city--and it's a goddamn introductory module. It's fantastic, it's written in a breezy, eminently readable style by the smartest, funnest DM in all of gaming, it's several times longer than it was supposed to be and has crazy 4-color art and raises the module bar sooooo many notches and is exactly what the whole DIY D&D thing is supposed to be all about and I'm so happy I could kill all of you." --Zak Smith

"Broodmother Skyfortress is chock full of great content. Not only do you get all the gonzo content that will take your party to a floating fortress filled with the craziest creatures in the known multiverse, but you also get a ton of stuff that you can use for your existing or new campaigns! To top it all off, you get all of this in a beautiful package full of great art. You can't go wrong if you like over the top, mutated giantish things wrecking your world. Highly recommended!" --anonymous RPGNow review [Not me OR my mom. She bought a print copy.]

"An absurd amount of content for the price. And it's all good! It's all very useable! Great writing, too. A lot to unpack. Recommended." --review by RPGNow customer SeanP

"BMSF is also kind of weird, but the weirdness has a goofier tone that is more fun and thus easier to get to the table. It has an over-the-top tone that careens easily between desperation and high heroism. It would make a good DCC conversion as well. The bonus content is also fantastic. Highly recommended!" --KevinH on a thread at rpggeek.com

"Read not run. Rients's authorial voice & sense of unbridled fun from his blog is thankfully maintained in this module years in the making. Constantly and helpfully suggests options for ways to tune adventure to GM's sensibilities... Supplemented w/ good collection of articles from Jeff's Gameblog re: hirelings, campaign building, magic books, carousing, etc." --James Brigham on rpggeek.com

"Taken together the book is probably one of the best getting started guides to running games. (Certainly for running games in an “old-school” style.) Jeff said he took inspiration here from the old basic modules In Search of the Unknown (B1) and Keep on the Borderlands (B2). This module does a far better job than both at teaching a DM how to run a game. It’s advice is far more clear and direct." --Review by Ramanan Sivaranjan of Save vs. Total Party Kill

"Just finished reading Broodmother Skyfortress for Lamentations of the Flame Princess. It's an excellent book for those interested in OSR games, being part adventure, part high quality GMing advice from Jeff Rients." --Frederick Foulds on Google Plus

"Really, this is a book that any rpg designer should read. We need more books like this." --NicholasJ on Google Plus

"I REALLY like +Jeff Rients​’ intro material to Broodmother. Top notch instructional material on how to use a game thing." --Victor Garrison (headspice) in a thread on G+

just orcs, please

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As a kid I was never really a miniatures guy, and my friends and I all went BattleTech crazy about the same time we got part-time jobs in high school, so I never really owned much from Citadel.  I eventually owned lots of 1:285 robots from Ral Partha, but precious few fantasy figures.

But I loved seeing Citadel's ads in Dragon.  They just oozed style.  Check out this bad boy from 1987 (it's actually the White Dwarf version, but the same basic ad ran in America as well):

(Click to embiggen)
I wish I had a larger scan of this thing handy, because it's hardy to see all the great details and to read the individual names.  While most minis makers were trying to sell you "Orc Infantry" or "Orc Advancing with Spear," Citadel presented each orc as an individual character with a unique name.

The Citadel folks did this with lots of other lines--like fighters and halflings and whatnot--but I really want to talk about these orcs because they figure into an experiment I did almost 30 years ago that I never sufficiently followed up on.  I was running a game for a whole new group, a one-off with people who were curious what all the fuss over D&D was about.  So I decided that the scenario would be that two dozen orcs pictured above were a raiding party that had recently moved into the local area and the PCs were supposed to drive them off.

Those 24 orcs were literally the only monsters used in the scenario.  I had a map of the small cave complex (maybe 6 or 8 chambers total) that they were using as a staging area.  I whipped up some rules for how many orcs would be in which chambers at any given time and how many would be out pillaging.  And I made a list of 24 orcs.  Each one had an individual name, a hit point total, individual weapons and armor, and a line or two of description and/or personality.

All these guys were pretty much normal 1 hit die orcs.  The warrior orcs had no more than 6 hit points each, while the champions had at least 5.  Depending on the equipment depicted on the figure, some had worse ACs than a typical orc, because some of those guys above seem to be wearing clothes rather than armor.  The two shaman-looking figures among the champions were issued a single spell (cause fear for one and magic missile for the other, IIRC) that they could cast twice a day.  And I am 100% convinced to this day that the bottom right orc champion (Makblod Stunty-Slicer) is holding a Mad Max style razor boomerang, so I made up stats for such a thing.  Other than those exceptions, these baddies were perfectly normal orcs.

I thought it worked really well.  Whenever the party encountered a batch of orcs I could say "5 more green-skinned goons round the corner" but once battle was joined or if the PCs had time to observe them, things like this could happen:
DM: The one coming at you has a big meat-cleaverish sword and a spiked helmet.
Player: Spiked helmet?  Like Colonel Klink has on his desk in Hogan's Heroes?
DM: Sorta, yeah.
Player: Fuck that guy!  I aim my spear right between his Nazi eyes!
-or-
DM: One of the bigger, armored orcs stops about 10 feet in front of your elf.  He holds his curvy sword and shield to the sky and proclaims "I am Mandig Elf-Sickle!  Today your ears will be added to my trophy collection!"
Player: I hide behind the barbarian!
My notes for these 24 orcs amounted to one or two pages but it added so much to what could have otherwise been a by-the-numbers orc slaughter.  And here's the sneaky part about the whole thing: I never showed the ad to my players or acknowledged its existence.  As far as they knew, I had customized these badguys all on my own.

MERP, Rolemaster, and system hybridity

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Back when I was a kid just getting started in the hobby, we tried out a lot of different role-playing games.  Mostly we experimented with TSR stuff: Boot Hill, Gangbusters, the original Marvel game, Gamma World, Star Frontiers.  We never quite got a successful campaign up and running for any of these, instead falling back to D&D quickly after starting any of them.  We had some more success with a couple of non-TSR games.  The Call of Cthulhu campaign I ran off and on for our last couple of years of high school was one of my earliest real successes as a referee.  Our brief flirtation with Middle-Earth Role Playing (a.k.a. MERP) also produced some good results.

In some ways, MERP was an odd choice for the group.  We had 1st edition AD&D and both BX and BECMI D&D.  We hardly needed another game involving swords and orcs.  But Dave was super into Tolkien at the time and his mom was convinced that Satan was on the payroll at TSR, so for a while we MERPed it up.  At least until the session that one d-bag sorcerer caught the entire party in a fireball and everyone took a C heat critical.  The gang was ready to go back to D&D after that.

The older I get the better MERP looks to me.  Sure, it's more complicated in some ways than D&D, but it also has an elegance of design all its own.  The relatively slow chargen combined with the deadly crit results plus holy-crap-orcs-are-3rd-level punished freeform mayhem in a not-uninteresting way.  And if you're going to hang your hat on a single setting, why not Tolkien?  All in all, MERP is one of a handful of non-D&D/non-clone fantasy RPGs I can get excited about nowadays (others include WFRP and DCC rpg).  It's sleek.  It knows what it wants to accomplish.  It doesn't mess around.

One passage early in the rulebook (paragraph 4 of section 1.0 Introduction, to be exact) has intrigued me for a long time:
In addition, I.C.E.'s Rolemaster Systems provide an expanded combat system, an expanded spell system, a more flexible character development system, and guidelines for a campaign game or larger scale game.  These systems allow MERP to be expanded to handle higher level characters and to increase the variations and options available to the Gamemaster and the players.
Note the key plural in both sentences.  Rolemaster Systems.   Rolemaster is considered a complete role-playing game today (perhaps one of the complete-iest) but when it first dribbled into existence circa 1980 or so it was actually a series of percentile dice using, universal, "for any fantasy RPG" type supplements.  You bought Arms Law as a separate booklet, for instance, if you wanted to up the ante to your D&D game by adding vicious critical hits for various weapons.  Spell Law gave you a bunch of new spells, organized into thematic lists that went well past 9th level.  I can't vouch for the 1st edition of Spell Law, but by the second edition many spell lists went to 100th level.  Character Law gave you an even more complex system for character stats and skills.  However you want to beef up your game, there was a Law for that.  Box the various booklets all up together with a module and you had the complete Rolemaster rpg.

MERP was written after the earliest Rolemaster releases and represents a solid attempt to streamline and cut down the system.  For example, in Rolemaster you had to develop each weapon skill separately, but in MERP there are only 6 weapon skills: 1 handed edge, 1 handed concussion, 2 handed, thrown, missile, and pole arm.  Rolemaster had literally more character classes than I can remember.  MERP has only six: warrior, scout (thief), ranger, bard, wizard, animist (cleric/druid). In short, the mechanical relationship between MERP and the full Rolemaster game was akin to that of Basic D&D and Advanced.

But the advice in MERP wasn't"Hey kids!  Once you hit 10th level you'll need to start playing Rolemaster!" Remember that plural "systems." Implicit in the quote above is that the players need to figure out what parts of Rolemaster they want to incorporate in their game.  It is an open invitation to hybridize the game you are holding with another game.  In the modern era of bigass product lines, this is a super uncommon thing, but the further back towards the dawn of the hobby you travel and the more of a necessity it becomes.  That's why you get things like the section of the 1st edition DMG that tells you have to mash up AD&D with Gamma World and Boot Hill.  Or Autoduel Champions, a supplement designed to allow HERO System supers to fight Car Wars vehicles.  The Interlock system, the strange baby of Cyberpunk and Mekton, attempted similar work.

One of the earliest published examples of this sort of hybridization would have to be Gary Gygax's "Sturmgeschutz and Sorcery, or How Effective is a Panzerfaust Against a Troll, Heinz?" Originally published in volume 1, number 5 of The Strategic Review (precursor to Dragon magazine), "Sturmgeschutz" tells the story of an OD&D Evil High Priest and his monstrous minions wrecking the shit of a Nazi patrol from TRACTICS, a set of WW2 minis rules published in the early days of TSR.  If you need official OD&D rules for a bazooka or a 105mm cannon, this article is the closest you're ever going to get.

As Ron Edwards notes in his essay "A Hard Look at Dungeons & Dragons," hybridization was basically a requirement to get early versions of D&D up and running.  My own experience as part of the 2nd wave of snot-nose kids brought in by Moldvay Basic is a long history of using BX with bits of AD&D with whatever we thought was cool in Dragon.  We didn't understand what we were up to back then.  We were just trying to do D&D "correctly." (Here's a hypothetical scenario that is much less messy than my actual experience)  

Nowadays, I tend to intentionally pick and choose drips and drabs of various rules when putting together a new campaign.  I didn't start conceptualizing the game quite that way until encountering Edwards's essay, which is why--even though I don't agree with his overarching theory of RPGs--I consider "A Hard Look" formative to my active participation in the OSR.  Edwards made it clear to me that earlier modes of play were being under-served by the mainstream D&D circa 2003, so I started to actively investigate those other ways of doing D&D.

I want to end this ramble with some questions aimed particularly at any hardcore MERP/Rolemaster players who might be reading this.

  • Did you make some sort of switch from MERP to Rolemaster?
  • If so, did you do it piecemeal, as the quote above suggests, or all at once?
  • How did that work out?
  • Did you transition the campaign world from Middle Earth to the official Rolemaster setting (Vog Mur/Loremaster/Shadow World)?
  • If not, how did the less MERPish elements of Rolemaster (kung fu Monks, psionic Mentalists, etc.) function in Middle Earth?
  • Anyone else care to share stories of early attempts at hybridizing systems?


this game does not exist

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For the last few days the thinky portions of my consciousness has been hyper-focused on a couple of presentations I did on Friday, so I haven't really had any game thoughts.  Last night this resulted in a pretty vivid but weird dream about a game.  I dreamed that I attended a convention and got to participate in a demo with the creator of a new minis game.  The game was called MORP.  If that is an acronym for anything, I didn't get that info   The guy who made the game called the figures/units in the game Morps.  All caps indicates the name of the game.  You play MORP with your friends, put you push a Morp around the table.

MORP is set in an ambiguous sci-fi post-apoc future where the world map is dotted with thousands of round/ovoid lakes that don't appear on real world maps.  The author explained that in the setting fluff no one remembers if those were cause by the nuclear war or the meteor strikes.  He acknowledged that this was just an excuse to set nearly every battle either on the edge of a lake, with a big ol' lake on the map, or actually on/under the water.  A whole chapter of the rulebook was devoted to lake/lakeside special rules.  You know how some designers just have that special itch they got to scratch?  Bruce Cordell and psionics.  S. John Ross and cooking.  James Raggi and ruining your life.  This guy's game design fetish was lakes.

The rulebook was an interesting object.  It was spiral bound, but at the top of the page rather than the left side.  The pages were stiff, thin plastic sheets or laminated.  And they were cut on the right edge of the page with chapter tabs always visible, like some dictionaries do.  Without every mentioning who they were talking about, an appendix gave complete rules for converting your 40K and WHFP figures to MORP standards.  After that was an appendix devoted to building MORP stats for any miniature you care to use in the game, based solely on what the figure looks like.

The game was new and the designer had managed to only get a few official figures manufactured.  He had two factions painted up on the table.  The first were these cyberpunk guys that looked like Duke Nukem but with trench coats and heads sprouting electronics gear.  The other were these anime girls in skimpy bunny costumes.  All their guns were shaped like bananas.  The author handed me a flamethrower trooper to inspect.  Imagine Omaha the Cat Girl but a pink bunny costume holding a big yellow 'nana with a hose to a fuel tank strapped on her back.

Yeah.

Welcome to your doom

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The Sorcerer of the Blue Mask has designed the four main structures of his fortress to each feature one of his hobbies.
  • The Citrine Hall, home to craftsmen who construct musical instruments designed in dreams.
  • The Rosy Chambers, devoted to the exploration of the uttermost limits of the pleasures of the senses and the flesh.
  • The Verdant Scriptorium, a prison for a score of faceless monks who spend their days translating the Bible into languages that do not exist. 
  • The Azure Tower, where alchemical formulae are derived by tracing new constellations in the night sky.
Each of these four locales has an entrance to the underworlds below the castle, known collectively as the Vaults of Vyzor.  The Sorcerer of the Blue Mask has invited the brave and foolhardy of the realm to enter the Vaults, if they dare.  Little is known about the dungeons below, save for these well-known clues:
  • The Orcs of the Red Hand have their headquarters somewhere below the Citrine Hall.
  • The tunnels below the Rosy Chambers are said to be haunted by the restless dead.
  • The howling of wolves can sometimes be heard coming from the dungeons below the Verdant Scriptorium.
  • The dungeons below the Azure Tower are said to be part of the domain of the Unseelie Court.
One other important item: Use of the entrance in the Azure Tower is by invitation only.  The Sorcerer of the Blue Mask only permits those he deems worthy to enter the tower.

a slightly streamlined approach

Vaults of Vyzor session report

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Roster

Belisarius

Belisarius Grouse (August Aronsson), fighter 1
Persimion Finch (Galen Fogarty), fighter 1
Elfbraham Lincoln (Jeff Call), elf 1
Sneakerly Trull (Zak S), half-orc thief 1

Results

The party entered the Citrine Hall of Castle Vyzor, where many Very Serious Men were attempting to build very silly musical instruments.  The party got to see a (failed) test of an Atomic Paradox Harp before being led to the stairs down into the Vaults.
The Citrine Hall is like this only a) the watermelon is also a set of bagpipes and b) the walls are yellow. 
They emerged a couple hours later alive, but changed.  Elfbraham and Sneakerly were clad as uniformed soldiery of the Orcs of the Red Hand, while Belisarius and Persimion also had various orcish bric-a-brac they collected on the way.  Oh, and they were covered head-to-toe in copious amounts of monster blood, foamy yellow puss, and unidentified slime.  In one of the worst things to ever happen in my games, Elfbraham Lincoln exits the dungeon with his own pet kobold in toe, a wretch clad only in an elaborate leather codpiece and who will be henceforth known as Limpy the Naileteer.  That's right, Elfbraham enslaved a member of another race.

I will divulge little else of this first outing, since these dungeon newbies didn't score enough gold to go carousing and blab about the adventure over ale.  But they did bring back some cool equipment they stole off the orcs.  And thanks to a combination of favorable die rolls and cunning play, the room 1 guard monster didn't destroy the whole party.  I honestly thought that was going to happen.



Vaults of Vyzor, session #2

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Roster

Darluk of the Hill People, fighter (Doyle Taverner)
Brutal Pete, dwarf (Aleksandr Revzin)
Sneakerly Trull, half-orc thief (Zak S)
Elfbraham Lincoln, elf (Jeff Call)
Limpy the Kobold (NPC)

Results

Once again no carousing happened, so only limited details of the dungeon activities are available.  The Citrine Hall was itself a hotbed of activity.  First, the musicomancers of the hall tested the Astral Wind Chimes they've been working on.  This results in the petrification of several witnesses to the test, but the PCs were not close enough to require saving throws.  A couple of days later, an orcs war party emerged from below and attacked the Hall.  Although it seems that all the orcs involved were killed or captured, a pair of magic cymbals seem to have gone missing.

Meanwhile, our heroes made two expeditions to the Vaults below.  The first time they came back pretty badly scruffed up, but with some objects looted from an orc temple and a pack of orcish playing cards.  The second time they barely made it back at all, leaving poor Elbraham Lincoln's bloody corpse in a hallway near an orcish rec room.

Orc & Undead playing cards by Ian Schofield.  Buy them here

Vaults of Vyzor, session #3

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So after the most recent raid on the Vaults of Vyzor, the half-orc Sneakerly Trull (Zak S.) opts to carouse and is unable to hold his liquor, so he blabs about the whole thing.  The expedition began with TERMEX the robo-dwarf (Mike Davison), Dudlow the Halfling (Paul Schaefer), and four lame spear-carriers, the NPCS Biggens, Littlens, Ren, and Stimpy.  

Sneakerly was actually late for the rendezvous to enter the dungeon.  TERMEX (Mike always put it in all caps.  If it's an acronym, I don't know what it stands for.  The Cyborg Name Decoder says it stands for Transforming Electronic Repair and Masterful Exploration Xenomorph.) and Dudlow opt to explore the first level below the Rosy Chambers, Castle Vyzor's den of debauchery.

Like this, but all the marble is pink and Elrond is in there somewhere with a gimp mask on.

The first room of level one is a guard post with 4 goblins and a bugbear on sentry duty.  Several of the NPCs fall in the battle.  It's one of those prolonged low-level slogs where no one hits anyone for several rounds in a row, much to the embarrassment of all concerned.  Eventually just one wounded goblin remains and runs for it.  The party opts to loot the corpses of the fallen foes rather than chase down the fleeing gobblin.  They find a bit of pocket change and not much else, except for the bugbear's coin pouch, which has "bad motherfucker" embroidered on it in Gobbocommon.  I don't know who ended up with that little trinket.

At this point Sneakerly Trull arrives and joins the party.  With three ways out of the first chamber, the party opts to check the door first rather than go down the distant corridors.  Sneakerly takes the lead, hoping that the locals will continue to treat him as a fellow monster rather than an intruder.  This pays off, as behind the first door is the guard barracks, where a sleepy bugbear in nightgown and cap reads Sneakerly the riot act for disturbing him.  Sneakerly claims to be delivering food and the bugbear shouts at him to try the orcs in the south and slams the door shut.

[When noise occurs--like combat--and there are monsters in an adjacent room, I often borrow a simple technique from MERP called the Activity Roll.  In MERP you roll percentile dice, the higher you get the more active are the nearby monsters.  No hard mechanics; it's just a guideline.  I usually roll a d6 for this in my own games, but I happened to have a d20 in my hand this time and rolled a "1," suggesting the lowest possible level of activity from the monsters.  My snap decision was that it was beddie-by time for the monsters and that the boss of the room was a grumpy sleeper.  The old timey sleepwear was added on the spot for comedic effect.]

Since the goblin also fled south, the party opts to head that direction.  They find a door on the wall of an extra-wide side corridor that ALSO leads to the barracks.  The Activity Roll is still low (a 4, IIRC), so they just earn another string of shouty profanity from Mr. Grumpy.  They eventually reach a fourway intersection further south and end up exploring a little bit in all three directions.  To the east they find the lair of the vicious silver shag carpet monsters, which they slay handily and turn into stylish cloaks.  The party declares themselves the Brotherhood of the Silver Cloaks.  [I'm using some old dungeon levels here and this room had three monsters found in an old game product I don't know.  All I have is some basic stats for 3 silver ______.  I'm not sure why I decided that they were hostile ambulatory carpet remnants.  We all agreed they must be related to cloakers and similar monsters.]

Detail from Mike Davison's map of the level.
Later, they follow the trail of goblin blood to the south, where Sneakerly scouts ahead and finds him, but some brain-eating zombies found him first.  They opt to back away and go elsewhere.  The zombies later start slowly pursuing the party, but they get confused in a region with several side corridors and parallel passages.  As far as anyone knows, those dead guys are still shambling around the level, looking for brains to devour.

To the west of the four-way intersection is a series of twisty passages all alike.  They find some slopes down and up and a spot where some green stains turn out to be nearly dried-out almost dead green slime.  They torch the nearly-starved green slime.  Beyond that, they find a room where three Mad Max Fury Road warboy-looking guys feast on a fresh corpse.  The players immediately peg these guys as ghouls, but I refuse to acknowledge they're right even as they're making saves every time they get clawed.


Three ghouls is a tough fight for nearly any low-level party, but some judicious maneuvering and ridiculous use of lard and caltrops allow the party to barely prevail.  Along the way, I roll two natural twenty claw attacks, one on TERMEX and one on Dudlow.  They both roll their own percentile dice to find their fate on the Arduin critical charts.  TERMEX ends up knocked out, with a concussion, and amnesiac.  Dudlow receives a major arterly slash on his leg.  He's bleeeding out fast.  They staunch the bleeding by applying fire to the wound, which very nearly burns him to death.  Sneakerly and Ren (the last hench-weenie) carry the dwarf and halfling out of the dungeon, where they recover from their wounds.

With 15 minutes left in the session, the party decides to go back to the dungeon.  The problem, though, is that no one can make their door open roll to get into the dungeon.  After each PC tries and fails, Paul rolls for Ren and succeeds while I'm rolling a d6 for the guards activity level and get a 6.  So Ren opens the door and catches a battle axe to the face.  Dead.  Oh, no, it's Mr. Grumpy!  And four goblins!  One of whom is all bandaged-up.  That one goblin barely survived the PCs' first visit and his run-in with the zombies.  What a champ.  While TERMEX fights Mr. Grumpy and Sneakerly bravely sneaks about, the goblins wrestle Dudlow to the ground so that the wounded guy can kick him in the ribs repeatedly.  The party eventually gets its groove back and murders the monsters just in time for the session to end.

They return to the Rosy Chambers.  Two expeditions has not resulted in much loot, but they've got a decent map of a good piece of the level and quite a few experience points for their troubles.  They know there are some orcs in the unmapped south and at least one wandering band of zombies.


Sneakerly has some money from some other FLAILSNAIL adventure and blows it all on carousing.  Plus he owes the mob 20gp because he rolled higher than his cash on hand.  Joining the festivities in the Rosy Chambers, he emerges several days later.  He can't find his underwear.  Or his clothes.  Or anything else he owns.

A fun couple of hours.  Hopefully someone will find some decent treasure soon.

Ongoing Roll of the Dead

Elfbraham Lincoln (Jeff Call)
Littlens (0-level NPC)
Biggens (0-level NPC)
Stimpy (0-level NPC)
Ren (0-level NPC)

Sunshine in a Bag

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Okay, so this is an idea for a spell point system that has a little suspense built into it.  It won't work in online play, though, so I doubt I'll give it a try anytime soon.  Consider this just an idea I'm running up the flagpole.

Here's the basic idea.  You need a crapton of glass beads or tokens of some sort in a two or three colors.  Pick one color as your base.  That will be the "color of magic." We'll say magic is purple.  Purple is a great color.  Then you have a color that indicates something bad (Like orange.  Orange is a sucky color.) and maybe a color that indicates something good (green maybe).  Each spellcaster using this system needs a small bag like an extra dice bag, to keep their beads in.

At the beginning of the session the DM takes the beads and bags behind the screen.  Roll 1d6 for each level of the caster and put that many purple beads (or whatever) in the bag.  That's the player's spell point reservoir.  The player is not allowed to count how many beads are in the bag nor should the player touch the bag except to pull out beads when casting a spell.  I.e. you're not allowed grope the bag long enough to suss out the number of beads.  You can only best guess by eyeballing the thing.  Pull out a number of beads equal to the level of the spell.  If you come up short--like you want to cast fireball and it turns out you only have 2 beads left--the DM should mess with the spell's parameters appropriately.
Kinda like this, but I think
they're cheaper at the craft store.

Fun times #1: When the DM rolls your initial pool of spell points, each six indicates that they should put 5 purple beads in the bag and one orange one (that is to say, a bad bead).  Drawing an orange bead sends you to some sort of spell fumble chart, which should have some results ranging from the inconvenient to the disastrous, some of which can be avoided or ameliorated with a saving throw or ability check of some sort.  Basically, some days your character is overflowing with magical energy and occasionally it gets away from you.

Fun times #2: Every time the DM rolls a 1, they put a green (good) bead in the bag.  When a green bean is drawn, immediately put a purple bead back into the bag.  The spell was slightly easier to cast than you thought it would be.  Don't put the green bead back.  That's a one time bonus bead, not an infinite engine of magical energy.

For more confusion, select a fourth color, maybe clear or white, to represent blanks.  When a blank is drawn, discard it but draw another bead immediately to replace it.  Keep drawing until you get a non-blank bead.  Add 1d6 blanks to every bag at the start of the session to keep the players guessing as to how many good and useful beads are in the bag.

So obviously a lot of the time more/bigger spells are going to be fired off under this system than canonical D&D.  I'm willing to accept that, given the possibility of fumbling with an orange bead and the inability to gauge exactly how many spells you have left, but your mileage may vary.  Note that I would still have people memorize spells, you can just cast more of the spells you have memorized.  Or you can re-study to change your choices.

The one part of this cockamamie scheme I'm still struggling with is what to do when rests happen.  I don't want the DM to have to pour out all the beads and re-roll every time an MU takes a nap.  Since you start the session with more power, I might slow down the regen rate for spell points.  Say you get 1d6 beads back for a good night's rest, but it takes a whole week to bump it to 2d6.  But I worry about the possibility of exceeding 6 times level beads in the bag (not counting blanks).  Not sure how to handle that without the DM tracking the beads behind the screen.  Any thoughts?  Is this idea just nonsense?

I feel like I should end with a Hermann Hesse joke but nothing's happening.

Vaults of Vyzor, session #4

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Today's party consisted of Belisarius Grouse (fighter played by August Aronsson), Limpy the Naileteer (kobold eunuch played by Jeff Call), Engsal the Enchanter (precocious magic-user played by Alex Joneth) and Engsal's 0-level henchweenie Kilitch.  At least that was the party composition at the start of the adventure.  Engsal was rolled up under some strange house rules elsewhere and is only 10 years old, so I joke that we're adding "endangering a minor" to the list of crimes committed by PCs in the campaign.  Prophetic.

Let me tell you my all-time favorite D&D mechanic: the open doors roll.  Player characters can melee gods and demons, bend reality with magic, and save whole universes from utter doom.  But apparently these same people can't always open a really stuck jar of pickles.  As a DM, few things amuse me more than a band of badass mofos who can't reach part of a dungeon because everyone blew their open doors roll.  The only thing funnier is something like this:  The fighter can't open the door.  The henchman can't open the door.  The kobold can't open the door.  But the 10-year-old Harry Potter wannabe gets it open.  Of course, by that time the monster on the other side is waiting eagerly and murders the wee lad on the spot.  Did I mention this was the very first door to enter the dungeon?

RIP Engsal
The monster in question was a Gelatinous Cube, which the orcs had lured into room #1 with a trail of food and then shut the door behind it.  Fortunately, the rest of the party slew the monster.  Kilitch the 0-level spearman was promoted to a full 1st level fighting man and Alex played him for the rest of the session.  It wouldn't be the only roster change in the party today.

The party then proceeded to the orcish armory.  Limpy the Kobold lured the guards away by pretended he still worked as a guard in the orcish brothel and advertising a two-for-one sale.  The three guards rushed out the door and down the corridor, leaving the armory to be pillaged for spare equipment for the third time.  

A listen at the south door out of the armory revealed too many orcish voices for everyone's taste, so they proceeded to the now-abandoned Temple of Orcagorgon and regions beyond.  They find the orc rec room unoccupied save for a lone goblish janitor mopping the floor.  They get him drunk and take advantage of him steal his mop and bucket.  Limpy puts on the janitors apron, intending to pose as a staff member while scouting out nearby rooms ahead of the party.  Unfortunately, the next chamber they explore is the temporary hidey-hole of a lost dwarf adventurer named Dundermachen.  All he sees is a kobold approaching, so he throws his warhammer and hits him in the face to the tune of 8 points of damage.  Limpy is no more.  I'd like to think that whatever koboldish afterlife he went to, Limpy was reunited with the ghost of his lost genitals.
awesome Limpy illo by Jeff Call.
The rest of the party shows up and the whole misunderstanding is sorted out, not that it does Limpy a whole lot of good.  So here's the thing.  The dungeon key says Dundermachen has 6 levels and a magic hammer.  But we are down a PC deep in the level, so I demote him to first level and up his strength to 16 so that he could still do 8 points with a d6 warhammer (I know the BX rules say d4, but that sucks).  This allows Jeff to continue play by assuming the role of Dundermachen.  In other words, this dwarf kills Jeff's PC and Jeff responds by almost immediately switching to playing his own murderer.  That sort of nonsense makes my whole day.

The party eventually finds a back way into the heart of the orc-occupied section of the dungeon, via a secret door to their larder.  They end up murdering two burly orc-wives working in the kitchen, then carefully rearranging the scene to make it look like they killed each other.  But they avoid the banquet hall, which seems to be occupied by 3 dozen or so orc warriors.  They double back a bit and discover a secret door, behind which they find stairs going down.  That's the first party to make it to level two.

I thought I was going to get them all with an ambushing carrion crawler lurking above a doorway, but Dundermachen's first attack roll was a 20.  The Arduin crit result was a blow to head that stunned the monster for the time necessary to turn it into green bug-goo.  The noise they make is sufficient to draw the attention of some nearby guards, but the party ducks behind a secret door.  They don't know what sort of being the guards were, but there was at least six of them and they spoke Common in gruff, shouty voices.

That's enough of the second level for the party and they return to the orcish rec room, where the goblin is still out cold from drinking too much orc grog.  It was at this time that my only wandering monster roll comes up, indicating a REDACTED from the REDACTED was on the other side of the north door.  I thought I was going to see a party member get his REDACTED torn right off, but they never open that door.  Maybe next time.

Instead, they decide to steal the orc's pinball machine.  Did I mention there was a pinball machine in the rec room?  Anyway, they have a pretty straight shot out of the dungeon but this thing is heavy, so it's all a matter of movement rate versus wandering monster rolls.  Sadly, the dice go the PCs way and no monsters show up to object to this blatant act of arcade-based larceny.  They make it back to the surface.

So now my problem is that I have no idea what a pinball machine is worth.  IMPORTANT DM TIP: Always know how much a pinball machine is worth if you put a pinball machine in your dungeon! I think that's a direct quote from the DMG.  (The sad thing is, this is at least the second time I've put a pinball machine in a dungeon and I still didn't have my act together on this point.)  I decide that the only logical course of action is to look up the asking price of the first full size pinball machine I could find on ebay and multiply it by a d% roll to account for orcish wear-and-tear.  The first pinball machine I find is going for $5,750.  August roll 70%.  The Sorcerer of the Blue Mask himself buys the pinball machine off the PCs for 4,000gp.  That's the first big money score of the campaign, proceeds from the sale of a pinball machine.  Man, I love D&D.

All three surviving PCs then go carousing and two of them fail their saves.  Dundermachen loses a bunch of gold gambling and Belisarius finds himself deeply, earnestly in love with someone else's wife.  Guess I'll have to work up some NPCs around the castle so we can roll dice to find out who that is.


ONGOING ROLL OF THE DEAD

Limpy the Naileteer (Jeff Call)
Engsal the Enchanter (Alex Joneth)
Elfbraham Lincoln (Jeff Call)
Littlens (0-level NPC)
Biggens (0-level NPC)
Stimpy (0-level NPC)
Ren (0-level NPC)

My Free RPG Day adventure

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So this morning I ventured out of my lair to Red Raccoon Games of Bloomington, IL, my friendly local games store.  (RIP Armored Gopher Games of Urbana, IL)  Red Raccoon doesn't offer a large variety of products in an old school vein, so I don't spend a lot of time or money over there.  But I dropped by today to attempt to score a copy of Vaginas Are Magic!, this year's Free RPG Day offering from that rascal James Raggi of Lamentations of the Flame Princess.

There's some sort of festival going on downtown and some streets are closed to motor traffic, so I end up parking a couple three blocks away and walking to the store.  Here's what I see as I approach:


I think it's great that they've put out a special sign for the event.


Though maybe specifying the year was unnecessary.

I arrived 15 minutes before the open time as posted on the internets, assuming I was going to be standing outside the joint like a dork for a while.  But I was willing to do that to score my copy of VAM! Apparently, they opened early today because when I get there the place is hopping.  People are setting up a half-dozen demo games of various sorts (I saw 5e and Savage Worlds for sure) and the large basement play area has been take over by the Pathfinder Society.  After searching the store I finally find a spinner rack with the Free RPG Day stuff on display.


Sorry the image is so blurry but the store was so crowded I couldn't snap a pic without someone bumping into me.  Anyway, I see something that looks like the RuneQuest and DCC RPG offerings of recent years and a maybe new sci-fi thing from Paizo called Starfinder.  At the top is a little sign that looks like the VAM! cover art telling me to ask for it at the counter.  So I go over there.

I don't really know the owner.  My sister Jenn tells me he's a good guy.  (She spends way more time at the store because her thing is collecting and playing eurotrash games and such.)  But he's already having a bit of a day.  People are getting a little rowdy, his point-of-sale stuff is not behaving, and his employees unpacked and placed a bunch of new 40K releases on the shelf without putting them into the inventory system.  In my experience game store employees tend to be nice people but they also tend to be game nerds first, dependable workers second.

So I eventually get to the head of the queue at check-out and ask for the new Lamentations offering.  He looks around confused and finds a single copy with a post-it note on it, declaring that copy to be reserved for Tim So-and-so.  I didn't know reserving copies for Free RPG Day was a thing, or I would have called ahead.  The owner guy says he knows he received five copies of VAM! and calls over one of his henchmen.  Dude says he put one on "the table."

I don't know what table he means, so I end up wandering around the store trying to find it as the owner continues his interrogation of the employee.  He ends up admitting that he scarfed up one of the copies for his own personal use (not exactly the point of Free RPG Day promotions, I think) and that he took another copy for a prize for one of the demo games.  That second part catches me off guard a bit, as this is a family friendly place with lots of kids.  Why give a book away as a prize which you deem too unseemly to put on public display?  That just makes no sense.

(This is, of course, setting aside the whole problem that apparently the word "vagina" is dangerous, but vast product lines devoted to murdering people for experience points are harmless family fun.  But that's a bigger argument for another day.)

Anyway, the employee eventually retrieves the copy he was going to use as a prize and hands it to me.  He mentions that I am the first customer to ask for it.  That leaves the location of two other copies an unsolved mystery for the ages.

So I get back in the check-out line and end up behind a guy who is buying one of every new thing for 40K.  You know, the stuff not in the inventory system.  Honestly, that took time to resolve but a lot less long than I thought it would.  Since VAM! is free, I only went through check-out because I bought a copy of World Wide Wrestling: The Roleplaying Game, partially because I'm a mark and partially because I'm not going to get a freebie and not buy some merch.

James asked everyone getting VAM! to take a selfie with it.  I've never really done a selfie with a phone before, so I go back to my car and spend a few minutes trying to figure out how to do so.


Sunshine in a Bag, part 2

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So thanks for all the great feedback (both here and on Google Plus) to my idea about drawing beads from a bag to power spells.  I'd like to pitch an alternate angle on the whole thing, where there's one bag of beads at the table that all spellcasters can access.  The normal spellcasting rules in your favorite edition still apply.  The beads represent drawing on additional magical power past the safe limits.  It's effectively giving in to the dark side of the Force, cutting corners for more raw power.

Conceptually, this idea springs from the dungeon as not just a series of monster-infested tunnels, but a metaphysical entity, a locus of maximum chaos and magic.  The reason so many evil wizards end up haunting dungeons is because that's where they are more powerful.  The players can draw on that same reservoir of chaotic energy, but it has its risks.

So start your bag of beads with 3d6 good beads, 1d6 blanks, and 1-3 bad beads.  Bad beads are seeded this way, roll d6 each session:

1-3 add one yellow bead
4-5 add one yellow and one orange bead
6 add one yellow, one orange bead and one red bead

I'll get to the three color of bad beads in a bit.  The basic deal is that a good bead is one spell level.  If you get one or more blanks you have to choose immediately: the spell is delayed at least one round or you can cancel the spell right now.  However, if you've already fumbled (drawn the yellow, orange or red bead), that still takes effect.  If you go ahead, what you have to do is draw replacement beads on your go the next round, unless the whole spell is cancelled because you take damage in between.  If you get blanks again, you are in the same boat as on the first round.

Now here's where it gets interesting.  You've got some spells memorized, right?  Draw from the bag and you don't forget the spell.  Or you can pay a premium to cast something else:

Spell memorized, but you already burned it today: Spell level +1 bead
You know the spell and can cast it, but didn't memorize it today: Spell level +2 beads
The spell is appropriate to your class and level, but not in your spellbook: Spell level +3 beads
The spell is appropriate to your class, but you are not high enough level to use it: Spell level +4 beads
The spell is not for your class: Spell level +5 beads.

That's right, under this system any caster can attempt to cast any spell in the rulebook.  The real question is whether or not they are willing to chance a disaster.  Disasters come in three flavors, mild (yellow), medium (orange), and extra spicy (red).  And since a mishap represents the strange essences of the dungeon biting you back, sometimes they change the environment.

Sample Yellow Mishaps

  1. The spell gets away from the caster.  No effect and caster cannot use that same spell for 1d6 days.
  2. Smoke comes out of the caster's ears.  Take d6 damage, save versus magic negates, and -2 on all die rolls until you get a good night's rest in a proper bed.  No save on the die penalty.
  3. Spell goes off as planned but caster gains some minor mutation of the DM's choice that signals their taint.  Eg. red glowy eyes, a forked tongue, scaly skin, that sort of thing.
  4. The dungeon fights back with more darkness.  As long as the party remains on this level non-magical light sources wink out at the most inconvenient times, never lasting more than 50% of the expected duration.
  5. Dungeon denizens become more attuned to your presence in some unconscious way.  Double wandering monster chances as long as the party remains on this level and the caster remains alive.
  6. All spikes pounded in by the party, ropes left behind, marks left for navigation, etc., disappear, swallowed up by the dungeon itself.


Sample Orange Mishaps

  1. The spell gets away from the caster.  Randomly determine target among all present and caster cannot use that same spell for 1d6 weeks.
  2. Electric energies coruscate up and down the caster's body.  Take 2d6 damage, save for half, and any activity but walking at half pace is impossible until you get a week's proper rest.  
  3. Spell goes off as planned but caster falls to the ground in agony for d6 rounds.  When they recover, the caster has gained a random mutation.  (No.  I'm not going to give you a mutation chart.  If you're a DM you should already have one or at least know how to google that kind of shit.)
  4. The walls on the dungeon start dripping blood.  Climbing walls and getting purchase with a thrown grappling hook become impossible.  Fumble chances are doubled.  The monsters are unaffected.  
  5. 1d6 extraplanar entities appropriate to the level (level 1 = manes, level 2 = lemures, etc.) appear in a random room or chamber within 40' to 240' of the party's current location.
  6. 1d6 dungeon features (doors, stairways, statutes, whole rooms) on this level or other levels visited by the party this session permanently shift to somewhere else on the same level. 


Sample Red Mishaps

  1. The spell gets away from the caster completely and materializes as a hostile Spell Elemental.  Use Fire Elemental stats (randomly determine size) and it can use its own spell effect to its advantage (e.g. a Magic Missile Elemental would be shooting missiles like a champ).  Also, caster cannot use that spell ever again.
  2. Unknown energies burst out of every orifice of the casters body.  Take 3d6 damage and everyone within 30' also takes 3d6, but they can save for half.  Caster and everyone who fails to save is comatose for 1d6 weeks.
  3. Spell goes off as planned but caster falls to the ground in agony for d6 rounds.  When they recover, the caster has gained a random mutation.  Roll twice on whatever table you use and give the caster the more inconvenient, weirder, and/or crappier of the two.
  4. Cracks open in the walls.  Giant clawed hands reach out and grab 1d4 random party members, dragging them into the body of the dungeon itself.  The caster and any NPCs get no save against this effect, but other PCs may save versus paralyzation to avoid.  The cracks close up and the lost party members reappear d6 weeks later, horribly changed.  They are now monsters and implacably hostile to their old comrades.  They will positively chase down the caster if they are not among the altered.
  5. Any being in the dungeon capable of scrying or other extradimensional insight immediately latches onto the party and will be able to monitor their activity any time any of them they are in the dungeon.
  6. The whole level dissolves into nothingness.  All present on the level save versus spells.  Failure indicates disintegration.  Success indicates you are dumped in a random location above or below the level.  Over the next d6 days the dungeon heals itself by forming new connections to reroute around the now non-existent level.

One final note: as you descend deeper into the underworld, more chaos energy becomes available to spellcasters.  Add 1d6 additional good beads and one more blank every time the party goes down a level.  Also replace the yellow or orange bead if it has already been drawn.  One red bead showing up in a session is quite enough, I think.

So here's my question:  You are a magic-user deep in the dungeon and nearly out of spells.  The present encounter is going badly.  The bag appears to have about a dozen beads in it.  That could be 11 good beads, one blank, and no bad beads.  Or it could be three good beads, six blanks, and all three bad beads.  How desperate do you need to be to find out?
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