Vyzor side view

June 19, 2017, 3:32 pm

≫ Next: Asteroid 1618

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I'll try to update this every time a new level is discovered.

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Asteroid 1618

June 20, 2017, 10:25 am

≫ Next: Meet the locals: Vyzor hirelings

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Hey all, I just got a query about how to get a copy of my old Encounter Critical adventure thingy Asteroid 1618.  Here's a link to a PDF version. Fair warning: it was hastily written, barely edited, poorly laid out, and it uses an intentionally eye-gouging font.  The art pieces not by me are nice.  That's the primary virtue of it, really.

Anyway... enjoy?

Meet the locals: Vyzor hirelings

June 21, 2017, 3:14 am

≫ Next: Ruin All the Places

≪ Previous: Asteroid 1618

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A large number of semi-active adventurers have become permanent fixtures in and around Castle Vyzor.  Most of the time, these individuals are happy to sponge off the generosity of the Sorcerer of the Blue Mask.  Occasionally--often due to gambling debts or unpaid bar tabs--they get desperate enough to actually venture into the dungeons for a small fee and possibly a share of the loot.  This is where your PC comes in.  For just a few gold pieces, you can hire one of these poor fools and probably lead them to their doom.

Since these are unique (hopefully-)recurring characters, you can only recruit and control one hireling at a time.  These folks generally work on a per-session basis.  If they survive an adventure, they go back into the hiring pool.  If a single session of game play involves more than one expedition (i.e. you exit the dungeon and go back in) then you must make a morale role (modified by the DM if the previous expedition was particularly harrowing or enriching) to cajole your hireling back into the Vaults.

To recruit one of these folks, spend 10gp, 25gp, or 100gp.  Consult the Charisma chart to find out what die you may roll on the roster below.  If you don’t like the result, you can choose not to hire anyone but you’re out the gold and don’t get to try again; whoever you rolled is your best prospect given the time and money available.

			CHARISMA
	3	4-8	9-12	13-17	18
10gp	you get Willy	d4	d6	d10	d20
25gp	d6	d10	d12	d20	d30
100gp	d10	d12	d20	d30	choose

Note that one of the reasons why you want the largest die possible is because the chart is basically ordered by competence.  Hireling #10 and #18 may both be first level Fighters, but #10 will require more oversight than #18.  Not that #18 is without his own issues.  That guy thinks he’s the hero in a sword-and-sorcery novel.

Ability scores are generally irrelevant for these people.  For simplicity’s sake, they all range from 9 to 12.  You can assume fighters have a 12 Str and an 9 Int, for instance.

Hit points are rolled anew for each expedition.  Fighters and dwarves get d8.  Clerics, elves, and halflings get d6.  Everyone else gets d4.

Most characters start with no equipment save the weapon and armor listed below, with the following exceptions: Thieves generally have a crummy lockpick or two.  Clerics possess a shoddy wooden holy symbol.  And magic-users own a poorly organized spellbook incomprehensible to anyone else.  Other specialists probably have the basics to practice their profession.  Any equipment purchased for hirelings stay with them after the expedition is over, though these folks have a tendency to misplace, break, or otherwise lose equipment.

Spellcasters get random BX spells.  Reroll between expeditions.  These characters are generally too incompetent to learn or teach new spells.

Anyone with a standard class (not a zero level weenie) earns half experience and is entitled to a half a share of moneys earned.  All hirelings will automatically carouse if they can afford to do so, earning half XP.

Should something unfortunate happen to one of these poor wretches, a replacement will appear on the chart that may or may not be of the same class.  Should a hireling experience a windfall, they may retire at the DM’s discretion.

These rules generally replace normal henchmen and hireling rules, but you can bring in henchmen from other FLAILSNAILS campaigns.  Also, if there is a shortage of PCs, the DM may still fill out the party with some of boring spearmen.

ROSTER

Die Roll	Name	Class	Weapon	Armor	Miscellaneous
1	Willy Whats-his-name	0-Level (Loser)	club	rags	absolutely non-descript
2	Otto One-Eye	0-Level (Mercenary)	spear	rags	no left eye; nasty gaping hole
3	Young John	0-Level (Likely Lad)	dagger	rags	eager to please
4	Little Liam Linkboy	0-Level (Misc)	none	rags	torchbearer, won't fight
5	Jonesy	0-Level (Mercenary)	shortbow, empty quiver	rags	shifty little mofo
6	John Lackwit	0-Level (Loser)	had a club, but lost it	rags	needs constant supervision
7	Richard Half-beard	Thief	dagger	rags	bad burn on side of face
8	Wicked Juliana	Fighter	battle axe	leather	merciless
9	Sly Henry	Thief	dagger	rags	calls himself Sly, actually a fool
10	Adam o' the Dung Heap	Fighter	mace	shield	oh God, the stench
11	Poor Brother Rupert	Cleric	staff	raggedy robe	sold his holy symbol to feed the poorer
12	Baguette	Halfling	dagger	leather	kid sister of Fromage and Escargot
13	Balphazad the Befuddled	Magic-User	staff	tattered robe	would forget his beard if it wasn't glued on
14	Kernick	0-Level (Mercenary)	rusty polearm	chain	not from around here, speaks very little Common
15	Emma Bright-Eyes	0-Level (Likely Lass)	sling, 2d6 stones	patchwork dress	an innocent; if she gets killed you might actually cry
16	Walter the Physick	0-Level (Misc)	dagger	threadbare robe	physician (quack?), non-combatant
17	Slightly Creepy Kerra	Thief	dagger	leather	the way she smiles when she draws her dagger...
18	Hugo the Slayer	Fighter	sword & dagger	leather	can't actually dual wield, alternates attacks
19	Fromage	Halfling	shortbow, d8 arrows	leather	middle brother of Baguette and Escargot
20	Gwalin Rustbritches	Dwarf	warhammer	leather & shield	hated by other dwarves, no one knows why
21	Runaway Tom	0-Level (Likely Lad)	staff	rags	something about that boy ain't quite right
22	Sister Hilda	Cleric	mace	shield	smites evil with joy
23	Alice Talks to Crows	Magic-User	staff	robe	certain all animals speak Common but choose not to
24	Ralf the Pathetic	Fighter	sword	shield, helmet	woe-is-me disgraced knight
25	Fat Roger	Thief	shortsword	rags	armor costs 150% for size adjustments
26	Gilbert the Heretic	Cleric	club	shield	won't shut up about angels
27	Morwena the Hedgewitch	Magic-User	dagger	robe	you can't stop staring at the wart on her nose
28	Escargot	Halfling	shortsword	leather&shield	eldest brother of Baguette and Fromage
29	Oombur Axebutt	Dwarf	handaxe	chain&shield	composes songs, not bad at it but his singing is terrible
30	Mellifor of the Brazen Hand	Elf	longsword	chainmail	right hand made of brass (semi-functional)

Mercenaries are capable of holding their own with human-like foes such as orcs and goblins.  They are less stalwart against weird monsters and undead.

Losers are generally incompetent.  They are nonetheless useful because once per expedition they can be used as cannon fodder to absorb some doom that would otherwise befall their employer.  E.g. that orc axe that would have split you in twain actually kills Willy instead.

Likely Lads and Lasses are the most competent and daring of zero-level characters.  At the end of each expedition, there is a 1 in 6 chance they ‘graduate’ to an actual adventuring class.  Their new class will be identical to that of their recent employer, if possible.  (E.g. a Likely Lass who worked for a Dwarf will probably become a Fighter.)

Ruin All the Places

June 22, 2017, 2:37 pm

≫ Next: Vaults of Vyzor, session #5

≪ Previous: Meet the locals: Vyzor hirelings

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When I sketch out some ruins from scratch, they don't always feel ruin-y enough for me.  We're talking about proper ruins here: wrecked castles, burn-out ghost towns, Scooby Doo haunted mansions, etc.  So I thought I'd try thinking about a better procedure than treating the ruins as an above ground dungeon.  Here's what I've got so far.

I - Begin with Theft
Dig through free online adventures and/or your personal pile of game crap and find one of those bright shiny home base areas.  The titular Keep on the Borderlands or Village of Hommlet, to give a couple examples.  To build your ruins, you're going to assume that these places as written exist in your campaign's past.

II - Figure Out Who or What To Blame
You need to figure out why the original locals moved out.  Look over the notes for your campaign history.  Any really good catastrophes or epic wars you can tie your ruins to?  Did this place succumb to the Rain of Colorless Fire?  Did the Wind Dukes of Aaqa make their final stand here three ages back?  You've got that lovely campaign history, you might as well use it.  Alternatively, you can use this ruin to unveil a heretofore unknown chapter in the history of your milieu.  Sure, you could just chalk the whole ruin up to a local war of no import or a forest fire or something, but why not take the opportunity to make it a little more epic?

III - Snuff Out That Point of Light
So how wrecked does your location become?  And it what ways?  Redraw the map with some intact areas, some reduced to rubble and some structures completely scrubbed from the face of the earth.  Look over the key for the original version and look for little details that pop out.  Like, say, the mention of a blue velvet couch in the parlor of a rich merchant.  Maybe that couch is still there, but it is dusty or mildewy, tattered or stained.  Make sure your ruins are peppered with these small tokens of past lives.  Also, add lots of cobwebs.

IV - Leverage Your Wandering Monster Charts
If the people move out, what moves in?  Your local wilderness encounter charts should be helpful here.  Obviously you want some sort of main monster to eat the PCs faces off, but don't forget to add some ordinary snakes or bats or things like that.  And maybe some hostile mold or fungus.

V - Think About What Remains
What memories of this place still echo in the mortal world?  Does the noble family that once ruled here linger on as the poor relation to some more powerful dynasty?  Do the locals tell the story of how the place was destroyed, or why?  Do you need to go back and add a weeping ghost or wailing poltergeist to the key?  If so, the original adventure provides you with a bunch of possible people to haunt the place, as well as some leads as to what might be anchoring their soul to the spot.

VI - No Building Inspectors Here
Finally, consider adding some environmental hazards.  No maintenance has been done to this place in decades, perhaps centuries.  Walls may be ready to crumble, floors or ceilings can collapse.  If you like the disease rules in your system, maybe the local water supply has gone off or perhaps there are rusty nails unwary adventurers can get tetanus from.

Obviously, this is a bit of a slog to do for every little rubble pile in your game.  But if you need an upper level to your dungeon or a place to serve as the X spot on a treasure map, it ought to do some good work.

Vaults of Vyzor, session #5

June 23, 2017, 12:57 pm

≫ Next: known Vyzor levels update

≪ Previous: Ruin All the Places

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Yareh Falsong before visiting the Verdant Vault.

Roster

Sneakerly Trull, half-orc thief - Zak Smith

Mozzarella, mangy cur purchased by Sneakerly - NPC

Yareh Falsong, one-armed thief - Sam Mameli

Barnabus Sleet, muscle wizard (think Flex Mentallo) - Maxime Goluchik

Otto One-Eye, 0-level mercenary hired by Barnabus - NPC (first use of the new hireling rules)

Man Rider, hideously mutated goblin paladin of chaos - Jez Gordon

This motley crew opted to explore the first level of the Vaults below the Verdant Scriptorium, an area previously unexplored by any PC.  Much of the expedition was spent carefully mapping a series of corridors and doors, looking for secret doors, and examining a strange 'water wall' room.  Various party members in various states of intoxication try to explain at various times what exactly they saw, but it is not entirely clear whether the room is full of water or the walls are made of water or what.

Anyway, let's talk about the wolves.  Apparently a pack of intelligent and creepy wolves guards the entrance to the dungeon and will bargain with adventurers, trading food for passage further into the level.  It is suggested that you avoid their gaze, but no details are offered as to what happens if you don't.

Somewhere just beyond the wolves is a room with a pull rope near a door.  Pulling it sounds an unseen gong, summoning orc guards.  Apparently the Orcs of the Red Hand control at least part of this level as well.  The party was able to trick the orcs so that they only had to fight two orcs warriors instead of a whole band of them.  Where the rest of them went is not known.

While searching for secret doors around a suspicious 'hole' in the map, a pair of wandering ghouls showed up.  One of them fumbled its first attack and Flair flopped onto the floor in front of the party.  Yarseh put her crossbow to the back of its head and killed it gangland execution style.  Meanwhile, hero of the beach Barnabus Sleet went all Fist of the North Star on the other and upper cut its head clean off.  Not bad for a couple of first level chumps.  But they couldn't finish them off before one of them took a big ol' bite out of Otto One-Eye.  

Fortunately, Man Rider had some magic healing on him.  I don't know where he got this stuff, but he had these monster eyeballs that one could eat for something like d6+3 healing each.  Did I mention that Man Rider is a damn weirdo?  He started life as a relatively normal goblin, but thanks to his devotion to a Games Workshop style god of chaos, he now looks like this:

Don't worry, he's on our side! (I think.)

This will come in handy later when Sneakerly convinces the orc bosses of the level that Man Rider is an emissary from the demon lord Orcagorgon, but I am getting ahead of myself.  So Otto is an ordinary light infantry spear dude.  He's in a dark and dangerous dungeon.  He is not that smart and is easily confused.  The poor guy doesn't have a left eye and he pawned his eye-patch months ago for beer money.  Now he narrowly escapes death at the jaws of a ghoul.  He's lost a lot of blood and is maybe a little faint, when the blue tentacled menace of the team hands him an eyeball.  Otto does the obvious thing with it and pops it into his eye socket.

That's not using the medicine as recommended, but I rule that it will heal him.  Zak pulls out his copy of Realms of Chaos and Jez rolls on the mutation chart to see what else happens.  I say either the result has to be made to work with the situation or else there is no further side effect.  The roll is "gain prehensile tail." After some back-and-forth I decide that the mercenary will henceforth be known as Otto of the Prehensile Eye.  Not only can he see out of it, but his new monster eye works like a tentacle, he can see around corners with it, etc.

Not long after the party is approach a set of stairs down, presumably to level 2, when they are attacked by archers in the darkness.  And these archers are using buzzsaw arrows.

One of the buzzsaw arrows shears a buttock clean off Man Rider.  Thanks, Arduin critical hit charts.  Barnabus the Muscle Wizard charges the orc archers and lays into one of them with his mighty fist.  Only punching this orc in the gut does he see that this guy is the orcish equivalent of Bolo Yeung in full Bloodsport badass mode.

Barnubus ducks some vicious chops and strikes, activating his hero halo to cast sleep on the orc archers.  They are then slain.  For a single round, Orco Yeung versus Flex Mentallo looked like it was going to be the most epic first level encounter I have ever seen.  But then it was all over.

There's a lever here, which Man Rider immediately pulls.  It drops a pair of portcullises that the orcs should have used to trap the party, but they got excited about the prospect of shooting them and forgot about it.  I tend to assume that orcs have stooge level intelligence, merely because it amuses me.  Anyway, Man Rider lowering and raising the portcullis creates enough noise to draw the attention of the orc boss in the next room and his cronies.

It's an orc bard, with his pals an orc magic-user and an orc... elf?  Okay, here's the first thing.  I'm adapting some oldy moldy dungeon levels for this campaign, right?  And the basis for this level has an evil human bard, and evil wizard type, and an evil elf as the bosses of the orcs here.  In the context of my larger dungeon, this is one of the levels controlled by the Orcs of the Red Hand.  There's no reason why 3 non-orcs would be in charge here.  So I made them into orcs.  This obviously creates the problem of why an orc archer is dressing like Peter Pan, but since when have any of my dungeons made total sense anyway?

So here's the second thing.  I know for a fact that Zak hates bards.  You would not believe how delighted I was when the party opted to explore the level with an evil orcish bard in it.  And then they actually made over to the section of the dungeon the evil bard occupies!  So of course there's a big tornado of violence that starts when Sneakerly convinces the locals to pay obeisance to Man Rider, herald of Orcagorgon.  The three anomalous orcs are slain.  For good measure, Zak smashes the bard's mandolin.  Does that make up a tiny bit for the time I killed his PC's dog?  I hope so.

Somewhere along the way Man Rider and Yareh put their heads together and decide to transplant Bolo's arm on her body.  Man Rider calls upon dark forces and Realms of Chaos is consulted a second time.  A few dice throws later Yareh has a beefy orc-arm and a boosted strength score, but her legs have mutated into those of a crow.

The party then loots the treasury of the orc bard and crew, carting off some nice things and four iron trunks full of coins.  They also rescue Dale, a human fighter that was a member of Dundermachen's doomed expedition.  Dale was being tortured by the bard for information, which was unfortunate for Dale, seeing as how he knows two things: jack and shit.

The party carries their loot and Dale back to the surface, throwing the Bargain Wolves a bag of orc limbs to assure their safe passage back up to the Verdant Scriptorium.  It's Miller time.

ONGOING ROLL OF THE DEAD

Limpy the Naileteer (Jeff Call)
Engsal the Enchanter (Alex Joneth)
Elfbraham Lincoln (Jeff Call)
Littlens (0-level NPC)
Biggens (0-level NPC)
Stimpy (0-level NPC)
Ren (0-level NPC)

After one expedition to the Verdant Vault.

known Vyzor levels update

June 24, 2017, 2:35 pm

≫ Next: taking inspiration where you can get it

≪ Previous: Vaults of Vyzor, session #5

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taking inspiration where you can get it

June 26, 2017, 2:09 pm

≫ Next: Vaults of Vyzor, session #6

≪ Previous: known Vyzor levels update

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Howdy, all!  I'm spending this week on the shore of Lake Namakagon in northern Wisconsin.  Today the family and I went out for lunch to the Bierstube, a little bar and grill attached to Garmisch, a small lakeside resort with a kitschy Bavarian romantic aesthetic not uncommon in parts of the midwest of the U.S.  True fact: the fanciest restaurant I knew about as a kid was a German place in Peoria, Illinois with great sausages and a suit of plate armor on display in the dining room.  

The Bierstube itself was remodeled a decade or two back, to go with a more contemporary hunting lodge look, but it is still kitschy as hell.  Exhibit A:

That's two bear cubs stuffed and displayed hanging from the rafters and holding lanterns.  A little grotesque, perhaps, but also inspirational:

Lantern Bear

AC: 7
HD: 2
Mv: 120', climb 90'
Attacks: 1 claw and 1 bite
Dmg: d4/d4
# App: d6
Save: Elf 2
Morale: 7
Treasure: C
Alignment: Chaos

Lantern Bears appear as three to four foot tall upright ursinoids, but they are actually members of the goblinoid family of beings.  Each Lantern Bear carries a hooded lantern that glows with an unearthly pale light.  At a distance these lights are easily mistaken for will-o-wisps.

No undead will come within 30' of the light of a Lantern Bear.  Because of this effect, Lantern Bears often serve as messengers, couriers, and escorts to other monsters who wish to communicate or travel through dungeon areas infested by undead.  With a favorable reaction roll and an appropriate bribe (fresh meat, high quality liquor, and/or gold), they can be hired by adventurers for up to 12 turns of activity.  If the party is rude or cheapskates, the Lantern Bears may accept the offer of employment but lead the adventurers to their doom.

Although normally fighting with a claw and a bite attack, a desperate or cornered Lantern Bear will smash its lantern against a foe.  If the lantern hits, it does 2d6 burning damage followed by another 2d6 damage the following round.  The victim (or its corpse) will glow with a faerie fire effect in the dark for the next 1-6 days.

Lantern Bears speak their own tongue, a bit of the guttural patois used by nearly all goblinoids (gobbocommon), and, typically, one other tongue such as goblish, bugbear, or common.

When killed, the lanterns of these monsters burn for d6 additional turns--retaining their special properties for that period--after which they lose their magical properties.  After that, they can still be used as normal lanterns.  Note that Lantern Bears do not normally use any oil in their lanterns.  Rather, the light is a function of the monster's inherent magical nature.  Thus, the fuel of multiple lanterns cannot be pooled to extend the magical light of a single burning lantern.

Vaults of Vyzor, session #6

June 30, 2017, 10:06 am

≫ Next: Broodmother Skyfortress wins Judges' Spotlight Award

≪ Previous: taking inspiration where you can get it

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Roster

Persimion Finch, human fighter (Galen Fogarty)
Jonesy, 0-level mercenary (NPC hireling)
Brax of the Lortmils, savage human fighter (Brad Black)
Little Liam Linkboy, 0-level torchbearer (NPC hireling)
Dundermachen, dwarf, (Jeff Call)
Adam o' the Dung Heap, human fighter (NPC hireling)
Hilda Haggins, halfling thief (Reece Carter)
Jesus Christ, riding mastiff (NPC doggie)

Persimion Finch, Brax the Savage, Dundermachen the Dwarf, and their attendant hirelings decide to begin their expedition via the Citrine Halls.  The somno-musicologists and arcane craftsmen of the Citrine Hall are working on assembling the Golden Wind Guitar, a titanic instrument that, when completed, should allow the wind itself to playing some shredding riffs.  At least that's what it is supposed to do.

I had no idea that the Big Golden Guitar was an actual thing. I just rolled the result using a 3 column chart.

The descend the stairs and kick open the door to the first chamber, to find the orcish guards taking a little break for some dice rolly fun times.

Now, there are only 3 orc gamers here and 5 party members (I don't count Little Liam, because he's a pitiful Dickensian street urchin,  He's not gonna attack an orc).  Theoretically, the party should be able to take these guys.  But in round one the good guys roll attacks mostly in the single digits and the orcs score two natural twenties.  Brax has a major artery torn open in his leg and is splattering the room with blood, while Persimion has his throat slit.  Both have mere rounds until they bleed out.  They manage to defeat the orcish game nerds and shuffle back up the stairs to get emergency medical treatment in the nick of time.  Both PCs now sport hideous scars.  Thanks the the ugly arc of scar tissue around his neck, I declare that Persimion Finch will henceforth be known to the inhabitants of Vyzor Castle as Persimion of the Second Smile.

It's at this point, after the two fighters have healed up, that the party decides to try a different way into the Vaults.  Having heard that the Verdant Vaults are guarded by weird wolves that will trade safe passage for food, they acquire dubious meat and prepare to descend with the entrance in the back cell of the Verdant Scriptorium.  It is at this point that the party is joined by Hilda Haggins, halfling thief, and her riding mastiff, Jesus Christ.  This continues the trend of dogs with ridiculous names visiting my dungeons.

Hilda is a 5e PC and fifth level to boot, so she sorta ran roughshod over my monsters a couple of times.  I don't mind this as a one-shot.  FLAILSNAILS characters are all over the map power-wise and I consider their ability to surprise me a feature rather than a bug.  Still, if Hilda or another later edition character appeared again in my dungeon, I'll be more likely to adjust power levels on the fly.   For example, I allowed Hilda to use the 5e rogue Sneak Attack rules, when I probably should have simply let her make a backstab using the BX guidelines.  I'm not harshing on 5e or the player here, it just wasn't an ideal fit for my local situation, you dig?

Anyhoo, on this second trip into the dungeons the party ends up covering some of the same ground as last week's group.  They negotiate passage with the wolves, fresh cow(?) meat now to get in, some orc meat to get out.  They then pull the alarm rope that summons the orc guards to the adjacent chamber.

The battle with these guys is one of the highlights of the session, as they are able to use the dungeon layout and some oil to minimize meleeing with eight orc guards, but they still fight them full on.  (The last party used trickery to end up only fighting 2 guards.)  This was a really juicy fight, but probably my favorite two moments were these:  The leader of the orcs was this badass with a battleaxe and a cool helmet who had the ability to catch and counterattack thrown weapons.  Coincidentally, this party had no bows or crossbows, only thrown melee attacks.  So I got to try to murder the PCs with their own weapons a couple of times.  Then there was the supremely awesome moment when Dundermachen leapt over a pool of flaming oil--his own warhammer also alight with flames--and landed right in front of this orc leader guy.  He then proceeded to absolutely crush the guys dude's cajones with a mighty flaming hammer blow to the crotch.

The party defeat the orcs and backtrack to their barracks.  Careful searching reveal two things.  The first is an orcish cookie jar, which actually contains a little treasure but also an angry scorpion.  Fortunately, Hilda opened the cookie jar and she's immune to poison thanks to a previous adventure.  The other item of note is a secret door that leads to the orcish training room, where they witness a grizzled one-eyed orc with a whip instructing maybe a dozen new recruits.  He's got straw dummies of a human, an elf, a dwarf, and a halfling, each marked with red paint indicating vulnerable areas.  The orcs don't immediately notice the party, so our brave heroes quietly close the door and seek adventure elsewhere.

Alright, maggots!  I'm going to show you how to kill PCs!

Speaking of secret doors and whatnot, Dundermachen caroused after this expedition and has been proudly showing off his map of the 1st level of the Verdant Vault to a bunch of people in and around Castle Vyzor.  Dig it:

Brax actually made this map. How the dwarf ended up with it is anybody's guess.

Exiting the barracks and returning to the big east-west corridor, they decide to scope out the dead end to the north after the turn.  They successfully find a secret door back to the first room of the level.  This is when a wandering monster finally shows up.  Yay!  It's a swarm of giant (1' long) killer bees!  Had they not found the secret door, the party would now be trapped in a dead end.  But here's the kicker: they forgot up until this point to collect some orc meat to placate the wolves and guarantee a safe return to the surface!  This results in a brief but chaotic combat where the PCs fight bees and wolves in and around the secret door, but the wolves and bees also end up fighting each other.  All sides take casualties: Jonesy and Little Liam succumb to deadly bee stings, but some wolves and bees go down as well.  The party spot a brief opening in the wolf formation and high-tail it out of the dungeon, leaving the insects and canines to fight among themselves.  Wild carousing follows.

ONGOING ROLL OF THE DEAD

Jonesy (0-level NPC)

Little Liam Linkboy (0-level NPC)

Limpy the Naileteer (Jeff Call)

Engsal the Enchanter (Alex Joneth)
Elfbraham Lincoln (Jeff Call)
Littlens (0-level NPC)
Biggens (0-level NPC)
Stimpy (0-level NPC)
Ren (0-level NPC)

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Broodmother Skyfortress wins Judges' Spotlight Award

July 4, 2017, 12:36 pm

≫ Next: Recommended Reading

≪ Previous: Vaults of Vyzor, session #6

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So the Ennie nominations are out today and Broodmother Skyfortress (available here and here, PDF here) has received a Judges' Spotlight Award.  I'm no expert on the ins and outs of the Ennie process,--even though I am perfectly willing to publicly complain when my fave doesn't win--but normally the judges review the products, make short lists for each category, and put them to the popular vote.  As I understand it, each judge can also just pick a product to highlight, and Reece Carter chose Broodmother.  Thanks, Reece!

Here are some of the great things that have been nominated that I urge you to choose when public voting begins a week from today:

Best adventure: Blood in the Chocolate

Best cartography: The Cursed Chateau

Best electronic book: Hubris: A World of Visceral Adventure (which is out in print now, I think)
Best monster/adversary: Veins of the Earth
Best rules: Veins of the Earth
Best writing: Veins of the Earth
Product of the Year: Veins of the Earth

PS: You should also buy yourself a copy of that stuff.

Recommended Reading

July 6, 2017, 5:30 am

≫ Next: Vaults of Vyzor, session 7

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One of the smartest dudes in the field of rpg design now has a blog.

Vaults of Vyzor, session 7

July 7, 2017, 6:46 am

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Roster

Colonel Kaffshyth (Blair Fitzpatrick)
Doug the Dwarf (Courtney Campbell)
Sigismund von Flegelschnecke, gnome fighter/illusionist (Alexei McDonald)
Gary Oldman Badger, badger (Sigismund's pet)
Brutal Pete, dwarf (Aleksandr Revzin)
Yohey the Carpenter, Lamentations-style Specialist (Anthony Fournier)

COLONEL KAFFSHYTH'S ADVENTURE IN KREVBORNA AND THE VAULTS OF VYZOR (as written by the Colonel himself)
So the Warlock-Axer has been taking a bit of a vacation in this spooky land called Kreveborna where I got involved in some scheme to rescue slaves from a pirate, hired by another pirate of all people. Well, as far as the Colonel is concerned, the scum of the sea are only good for two things, axing, and hanging, but these pirates seemed to run this town, and if they're shaking a coin purse at me to perform some good deed I might as well make the best of it.

After I shook down this lazy clerk at the docks for some prime intelligence, we set off for the slavin' pirate's hideout. Unfortunately, the bumblers I was teamed up with managed to get the bottom of our boat torn out and we were trapped on this dismal island.

We found the pirates' lair, and we manged to trick this lazy straggler into falling into our clutches. After the ole' Warlock-Axer-General shook Wizard-Killer in his face and put the fear of law and order in his shriveled black pirate heart the coward caved in faster than those hobbit holes I had bombarded back when I campaigning in some back-country called the Shire.

I came up with a brilliant con, a tale of casks of liquor, free for the taking, that this turn coat captive of mine used so we could ambush and cut down his former compatriots, saving one for the hangman, and then we snuck into the pirates' lair, and skew the rest in their sleep. A shame that is, that we didn't get to see them dance at the end of a hangman's rope, but we had to make do with what we had at hand.

Next, one of our party, this fool of a whaler, got us involved in some imbroglio with a bevy of ghosts, but, after a terrifying ordeal, we managed to defeat them.

Exhausted, we rested in the blood splattered quarters of the executed pirates, and when I woke up I found out that my softer hearted companions has freed the slaves held captive by the pirates. I was upset, as I didn't trust these losers not to not somehow foolishly tip our hand to the remaining villains, and also that I wanted to throw our captive pirate into their cage with them for some good fun.

Anyways, there was the slavin' pirates boat, with some evil cultists on it below decks, that we had to burn down. Unfortunately one of the boobs in our group woke them up while we were splashing oil all over their vessel, but my keen archery skills helped make short work of them... ...until, while the boat was burning, a goddamn Sauron came out from below decks. Fortunately this freakish devil-man with us was an accomplished wrestler, and threw the Sauron into the drink.

Of course it came walking up outta the sea onto the shore, but my magic axe Wizard-Killer, with the help of my allies, made short work of that fucking Sauron.

Fortunately the other, "good" pirate that hired us, saw the smoke and picked us up, and Colonel Kaffshyth rescued the slaves and got a nice purse of gold for his heroics. We also looting a terrifying painting of a Dracula from the pirate boat, and my blood ran cold when my companions said that it was an enemy that they angered in the past!

I had enough of the sea for a bit, never mind wanting to put some distance between me and that fucking Dracula from the painting, and visited the Vaults of Vyzor next. I was with two dwarfs, a gnome, a badger, and a fucking carpenter of all thing, so the prospects looked dim.

One of these idiots wanted to hunt down the giant bees of this dungeon. Now, I'm no entomologist, but once, on the campaign trail, some conscripts threw a beehive into the officers' privy while I was taking care of "some paperwork", and those bee stings hurt like hell! I sure had a good laugh when I sent those irregular conscripts into the teeth of a cavalry charge, I still chuckle when I think of it, but I remember those infernal bee stings and was having nothing of hunting down giant bees.

I had heard of the talking wolves of Vyzor, and brought a sack of the finest steak as an offering to come and go as we pleased.

I steered our party clear of the bees, repeatedly lending out my crowbar so the bumbling fools could unstick doors.

Eventually we came across some robed skeletons, but, with a hammer, I made short work of them while everyone else was pissing their britches and bleeding all over the floor, saving the life of one if the fools with what I've learnt from watching the surgeries on the campaign trail.

While exploring I got some orcs trapped in their quarters on account of a brilliant con on my part, and one of the dwarfs translating for me.

Next, these idiots got us trapped between two portcullises, and a gang of angry orcs showed up while we were stuck like rats in a trap. One of their spears dealt The Warlock Axer General a grievous wound, but, my passions inflamed by my injury, I let off a ferocious war cry while shaking Wizard Killer at them, and the green skinned savages turned tail and ran.

With my guidance, we were able to escape the portcullis trap, and I led my companions safely out of the vaults, in the nick of time, the damnable giant bees buzzing hot on our heels, my gift of quality steaks assuring us an honor guard by the talking wolves as we exiting. 

Verdant Vault I map updated by Doug the Dwarf

ONGOING ROLL OF THE DEAD

Jonesy (0-level NPC)
Little Liam Linkboy (0-level NPC)
Limpy the Naileteer (Jeff Call)
Engsal the Enchanter (Alex Joneth)
Elfbraham Lincoln (Jeff Call)
Littlens (0-level NPC)
Biggens (0-level NPC)
Stimpy (0-level NPC)
Ren (0-level NPC)

Meet the all-new, all-weird Elf

July 11, 2017, 7:01 am

≫ Next: Random BX Dwarf Advancement

≪ Previous: Vaults of Vyzor, session 7

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A problem in old school D&D that has been intuited by nearly everyone but only occasionally spoken out loud is that sometimes you can go up a level and it's a dud.  Reaching 2nd level as a fighter is pretty exciting the first time, because you have the opportunity to double your hit points.  But third level is just more of the same.  Sure you get better to hits (slowly) and multiple attacks (even more slowly).  Meanwhile the spellcasters get more spell slots every level and new spell levels are even more exciting.  Even the lowly, crappy thief gets incremental increases in percentage skills (plus things like reading languages and magic, better back stabs).

Meanwhile, all players and many DMs agree that going up a level should be awesome.  That's how we ended up going down the road of WotC D&D with its feats and whatnot.  Their solution is more and more ways of defining your character via selecting from various menus of options.  Maximized customizability might be what I'd call it, even though I'm not sure right now whether or not "customizability" is a word.

James Raggi solves the problem elegantly in Lamentations of the Flame Princess by insisting that everyone suck equally.  What makes the fighter so friggin' awesome in his system is that it's the only class that ever gets better at to-hits.  This reduces halflings to scouts and dwarves to pack mules, but I'm pretty sure James hates demi-human PCs.

The best solution to the problem of the 'meh' level that I have found is Zak's random advancement scheme.  Check out these cool ass charts for randomly leveling up as a fighter, barbarian, ranger, thief, and magic-user.  There's also this nice crowd-sourced witch variant that you should totally steal for NPC witches even if you don't use any of this other stuff.  (Also, see the Alice for more of this kind of zaniness.  It's probably the best new class concept since James Maliszewski's Stranger.)

I've monkeyed with a similar approach in the past.  My attempt to turn feats into a random ability system got tangled up in my insistence that I follow the feat trees.  And my earlier efforts at BX random advancement charts fell flat because I didn't take the kind of chances Zak is taking with his.  But I'd really like to move to this form of advancement because of three basic principles:

• Leveling up should come with at least a chance of something really cool happening.
• Rolling more dice in more situations is usually better.
• Exiting the dungeon/ending the quest should leave you changed in ways you don't control or even necessarily understand.

So what I'd like to do is complete the set that Zak started, at least for the remaining BX classes (I.e. Elf, dwarf, halfing, and the always problematic cleric.) and maybe a catch-all chart for weirdos of all stripes.  Then when people advance a level in my FLAILSNAILS games they could either play it safe and use the rules in the home system of their PC or shoot the moon by rolling on these charts.

So, without further ado, here's the chart for those darn elves.  It's probably not as daring as if Zak had made it, but I quite like it.

BX ELF

...you start with your normal hit points and saves etc. Write those down. Do everything pretty much the way you would in your system.

However, when you level up:

For each new spell slot you get, roll on this table instead of just filling the slot…

1-59 Gain a spell slot as usual.

60-64 You gain +1 to-hit on all attacks

65-67 All your saving throws improve by +1

68-69 You become more attuned to the secrets of nature.  Instead of an empty slot you fill by memorization, you gain a random druid spell of the same level as a daily power.

70 You learn the ancient elven art of spell-cobblery.  Taking one day and 100gp times spell level in materials, you can create a pair of shoes that will hold a spell you can cast, until used by the wearer or seven days have elapsed.  A second roll of this ability allows 3 uses of the spell before the shoes lose their magic.  A third removes the one week time limit.

71-72 You know how you are immune to ghoul paralysis?  That’s your inner light protecting you.  That light grows stronger.  Now wight level drain won’t affect you either.  If rolled again follow this progression: mummy rot, vampire level drain, all special damage effects of all corporeal undead.

73-75 Spell dilettante: Instead of gaining the spell slot normally indicated, you gain 2 more slots of the next lower level.  If you were rolling for a first level slot, in addition to 2 zero level slots you also gain 2d6 cantrips of your choice to add to your spellbook.  (See the original Unearthed Arcana or some other source of 0-level spells.)

76-77 You get good with a traditional elfy weapon.  Gain +2 to-hit with the weapon indicated by die roll on the d8 chart below:

1-2 Long sword

3-4 Short sword

5-7 Shortbow

8 Spear

Non-standard elves do not use this chart.  Drow always get hand crossbow.  Sea elves always get trident.  Grey elves always get ray pistol.

On subsequent rolls the player may opt to take +2 damage with a weapon they already have +2 to-hit with, or they may re-roll for another +2 to-hit. You may not get better than +2 to-hit/+2 damage with any one weapon.

78 You learned the traditional art of elf baking from your granny.  Taking one day and 1,000gp in materials, you may bake a batch of a dozen cookies, all of which have the properties of a single standard potion type of your choice (i.e. something in the first edition DMG or whatever).  You can only do this once for each time you roll this entry, and it must be a different recipe (potion type) each time.

79-80 Your horns grow.  What, you didn’t know very old and/or powerful elves have horns?  Usually they take the form of spirally ram’s horns or deer antlers.  Your horns grow d6 inches in length (starting at zero unless you've rolled this entry before).  For every 4 inches of horn or fraction thereof, you are +1 charisma when dealing with other elves, fairies of all sorts, most forest creatures, and many goblinoid types (but NOT hobgoblins, those guys fucking suck).  However, you are -1 CHA when dealing with dwarves, halflings, and any human not of druidic faith.  Maximum horn length is 12 inches plus your level. They are not used for combat, you cretin.

81-82 The arcane arts of the elves encompass spells beyond the reach of  mere mortals.  Add to your spellbook a spell from a supplement or edition not normally used at your table.  Its level can be no higher than the highest you can cast.  However, you only have 24 hours of real time to research and select your new spell.  If you do not email your DM with the complete text of the new spell before the time elapses, you lose this opportunity.

83 You remember a bit of the ancient elven art of making living toys.  Pick any monster in the core book that is both small size and possessing no more than half your hit dice.  You now have a wooden version of the same as a henchman.

84-85 You grow d12 inches taller.  At each whole foot of height above 5’, you gain +1 Str but lose -1 Con as you become a spindly mofo.  At Con 2 you must retire from the World of Men, cross the sea, and enter a special home for elvish invalids.  If you reach 8’ you can use ogre sized weapons.  At 10’ you can start using smaller giant weapons.  If you have not previously determined your height, assume you start at 5’6”.    

86 You gain a mount or pet.

1 Cooshee (elven dog)

2 Giant Owl

3 Giant Lynx

4 Hippogriff

5 Unicorn

6 Griffon

If you roll this again, you can only get a second of the same type of pet if the first one is still alive.  Otherwise, the stink of death is upon you and that kind of monster will never associate with you willingly.  The second of the same type with be the other half of a breeding pair and subsequent rolls of the same type will be young (half hit dice, half damage).

87-88 You shrink d12 inches.  For each whole foot below 6’, you gain +1 Dex but lose -1 Str.  At Str 2 you must retire from the World of Men, cross the sea, and enter a special home for elvish invalids.  If you reach 3’6” halfling weapon restrictions apply.  At 2’ you can only use daggers and pixie, sprite and certain kobold weapons.  At 0 inches tall you shrink out of this plane of existence altogether.  If you have not previously determined your height, assume you start at 5’6”.

89-91 The elements possess less dominion over your material body.  You now take half damage from a random damage type:

1 Fire

2 Electricity

3 Cold

4 Esoteric magical energies such as magic missiles and prismatic walls

However, you also gain a vulnerability, cold iron and blessed/holy weapons do double damage to you.  Reroll if this entry comes up a second time.

92-93 Your ears grow improbably long, even for an elf.  Gain +1 listen at doors, etc.  If rolled a second time, +1 more to

listen and halve surprise chances but disguising your elven nature becomes nigh impossible.  Reroll all subsequent rolls of this entry.

94 Fear rarely touches elves the same way it does other races.  Gain +4 saves versus all fear effects.  If you roll this again, you become completely immune to fear, but you also become so inured to death that you lose the ability to ever again acquire new hit points via level advancement. Reroll the third and subsequent rolls of this entry.

95-96 Roll on the crowd-sourced Witch Table curated by Zak

97-98 Roll on Zak’s Ranger Table

99 Once per session when you spend at least 6 hours doing that creepy meditation thing that elves do instead of sleep, you can query the elf hivemind/social media/akashic record.  The DM must answer one question, provided that any elf in the past or present would have access to the answer BUT that answer is filtered through the perceptions of the individual knower(s) (i.e. it may not be 100% completely and objectively correct).  If rolled again, the number of questions increases by 1, but the number of times per session does not.  I.e. a second roll allows a follow-up question in the same meditative trip on one subject.

100 You’ve become so attuned to the elven hive memory that you no longer need to use a spellbook.  However, you may only select one spell of each level from among the spells you know, the rest are generated randomly from the complete official elf/MU spell list for the edition you are using.  If rolled again two spells of each level may be selected from the spells you know, etc.

Random BX Dwarf Advancement

July 12, 2017, 2:30 pm

≫ Next: Random BX Halfling advancement

≪ Previous: Meet the all-new, all-weird Elf

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The normal BX (or whatever) Dwarf-as-Class rules apply at first level.  When you level up you get more hit points but attacks, saves, etc. do not advance.  Instead, roll twice on this chart:

DWARF

1-39 You gain +1 to-hit.

40-48 You gain +1 to all saves.

49-52 You gain d4 more hit points.

53-54 Roll on Zak’s Fighter chart.

55 You have a nose for gold.  Once per day you can smell the largest pile of gold in the vicinity,similar to locate object in range and duration (120’ feet, 6 turns).  This power does not function when troglodytes, ghasts, dungeon skunks, large piles of dung, etc. are within range.  Reroll if you get this result a second time.

56-59 You can really hold a grudge.  Pick any type of monster you encountered in the previous session.

 You are now +2 to-hit that type of being.  Alternately, chose a single individual and you are +4 to-hit them and do double damage dice.  You can roll this multiple times, but you must pick someone different each time.  Also, the group and individual bonuses do not stack.  If you pick orcs on one roll and the Orc King of Bloodsplatter Gulch on another, you are still only +4 to hit the Orc King.

60-62 Your strength, endurance, and packing skills are so finely attuned that normal treasure and equipment only costs you half encumbrance.  Huge objects are still a bother, though.  Reroll if you get this result a second time.

63-64 You are an expert on thin dungeon walls, the kind that are only a pencil tip wide on the map.  You can detect such walls when searching for stuff and you can listen through them as easily as a standard dungeon door.  If rolled a second time, you gain the ability to punch a dwarf-sized hole through such walls with only a single pickaxe blow and a successful Open Doors roll.  Reroll if you get this result a third time.

65-66 Your clan has long standing good relation with the gnomes.  You speak Gnomish (if you needed this ability before now those gnomes obviously spoke a different dialect) and get +1 reaction rolls from gnomes.  If rolled again you can also speak to burrowing mammals, but only possess bad tourist level vocabulary.  If rolled a third time, re-roll.

67-68 The dwarves have been recording their memories in song going back to before the making of the world, and you have memorized a metric crapton of them.  Once per session you can sing a song to remember a clue related to any ancient mystery.  The DM must provide something useful, but they also get to make an immediate check for wandering monsters.  Reroll if you get this result a second time.

69-71 Dang, you are getting good with that crossbow.  You are +2 to-hit and the die size for damage bumps up a category.  You can reroll this as many times as your DM lets you get away with.

72-73 Your clan used to do business with the folks of the Deep Down.  You speak Undercommon and get +1 reactions when dealing with troglodytes, drow, svirfneblin, abholeth, kuo-toa, etc. but NOT those damn duergar. Reroll if you get this result a second time.

74 You once got a glimpse at a partial copy of the Ultimate Treasure Map of the Dwarven Kings (a.k.a. the Worlogog), the original of which purportedly shows every hidden treasure in the entire multiverse.   You know the location of whatever crazy MacGuffin you seek or simply a spot where a Type H treasure lies.  It is no more than 4 sessions away.  You must have a fair shot at it--like any other treasure, but there's no guarantee you will get it. If you don't get it by the fourth session you can keep trying or let it go and roll again on this table. However if you choose to roll again and then you do get the thing somehow anyway, you lose whatever gimmick you rolled. The DM must think up some clever reason why.

75 You find a back door out of here.  The next time you are in a dungeon and your goose is cooked, you discover a secret door leading to safety BUT only 1d6 people may pass through it.  You are guaranteed the #1 spot, but your friends may have to dice for who survives and who is left behind. Also, the DM totally decides where your escape tunnel leads.  You may get another Get Out of Jail Free card on gaining a further level if the next time you roll this you have already expended the previous one.  Otherwise, you lose both opportunities and do not get to reroll.

76-78 You have an extraordinary memory for lineages and family history, even for a dwarf.  Every time you encounter another dwarf you can recite the history of the great alliance of their clan and yours for +2 reactions, include morale for henchmen and such.  Or, you can recite why their clan sucks and yours rules, gaining +2 morale bonus to hit the poor bugger.  Finally, any time you fight alongside another dwarf PC against traditional dwarf foes (orcs, goblins, etc.) you can both gain +2 to hit as you recite the history of your clans' joint efforts to wipe out those jerks.

79-80 Shields shall be splintered and you’re just the fucker to do it.  Any time you roll max damage on a melee attack versus an armored opponent they lose d3 points of Armor Class, starting with their shield.  Yes, you can totally game this by taking a weapon with a smaller damage range, but be a mensch and stick with a d4 warhammer or handaxe, for Moradin’s sake.  Reroll if you get this result a second time.

81-83 People who build monsters out of stone or metal make you laugh.  You never need magic weapons to do damage to golems, robots, or other constructs made of stone, metal, crystal, etc.  Also, if you do employ a magic weapon you can crit the bastards like normal, scoring things like bleeding results even though it makes no damn sense.  Reroll if you get this result a second time.

84-85 You really know how to get the most from rocks.  Given two fistfuls of dungeon rubble, you can fashion any standard dungeon equipment (a 50’ rope, a days worth of iron rations, a single torch, whatever).  It works just as normal--though the rations taste terrible--until used or the end of the session.  You may use this talent once per session.  Reroll if you get this result a second time.

86  Too tough to die.  You may escape any one death that is narratively plausible--e.g. this won’t help you if you’re beheaded--but the DM may delay your reappearance as long as deemed dramatically necessary.  You may get another free life on gaining a further level if the next time you roll this you have already expended the previous one.  Otherwise, you lose both mans and do not get to reroll.

87-91 You’ve decided it’s time to grow that mohawk.  Immediately roll on Zak’s Barbarian chart.

 From now on, every time you level up, roll once here and once on the Barbarian chart.  If you ever lose your mohawk, you lose all your barbarian abilities (including to-hits and such) until you get it back.  Obviously, you stop wearing helms. Every time this result comes up again just make another throw on the barbarian chart.

92-93 You have an ear for metal, my righteous bro.  You are +1 to any Listen attempt that could involve metallic sounds, such as orcish swords and armor on the other side of the door.  Furthermore, if you roll a 1 to Listen the DM must give you some further information about the nature of the metallic sound.   Reroll if you get this result a second time.

94 Flame eater: you are perfectly happy walking around a dungeon with a mouth full of Greek fire.  When you spit it out make a normal flaming oil attack at +2 due to the surprising nature of it.  Note that you do not need any mechanism to light the stuff.  Maybe it’s the beard?  Iron teeth?  I dunno.  The downside is that your PC cannot speak while loaded.  Reroll if you get this result a second time.

95-97 Discerning greed: Whenever there are otherwise identical gems or jewels to split up (like 5 gems worth 100gp each) try to get the first pick of them when splitting the treasure.  If you get the first pick, your item is worth 50% more than advertised.  You must be greedy and secretive about this fact.  You keep the bonus gold value and xp to yourself or else in the ensuing argument you drop the item and it shatters.  Reroll if you get this result a second time.

98-99 Oh, man, your beard is getting way effing long, even for a dwarf.  Thanks to your sweet beard-fu once per combat you may attempt a bonus trip attack in addition to your normal melee attack.  The downside is that all friendlies in melee range (including yourself) also trip and falls on any to-hit roll of ‘1’, in addition to any other fumbles rules in play.  If you roll this a second time, you get better at controlling your beard, eliminating the fumble effect.  If rolled a third time, re-roll.

100 You have an eye for obscure dwarvish magic items.  Unless the DM has already specified the origin of an item, you may declare any found magic item of less than artifact status to be Dwarven Made™.  This applies even if it is not normally usable by dwarves.  Now it is.  Furthermore, it has additional powers ONLY usable by dwarves.  The DM should roll on the same chart that lists the item or the nearest equivalent.  (BX-based example: Not only is that Wand of Illusion now usable by dwarves, but in their grubby little hands it now also functions as a dwarves-only Staff of Power!  Holy shit!)  You may use this ability just once.  You may roll this result again, but if you have not used the previous roll, you lose both opportunities.

Random BX Halfling advancement

July 13, 2017, 5:29 am

≫ Next: Vaults of Vyzor, session #8

≪ Previous: Random BX Dwarf Advancement

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HALFLING

A first level Halfling works just as Jesus and Tom Moldvay intended.  Each time you go up a level roll hit points as normal, but otherwise you only gain the abilities indicated from two rolls on the following chart:

01-03 You get nothing.  Sucks to be you.

04-22 +1 on all attacks

23-35 +2 on all missile and thrown attacks

36-43 +1 on all saving throws

44-47 +2 on one category of saving throw.  If you are a FLAILSNAILer, pick both an old school category like Death Ray and one of the Reflex/Endurance/Will trio.  If you end up in a single saving throw  game, this only counts as +1.

50-51 Gain d4 hit points

52-54 Once per session you may gluttonously devour a week’s worth of rations in one turn.  You heal d6 hit points.  Pigging out does not heal any special or critical effects, only abstract hit points.  Reroll if you get this result again.

55-56 You are an expert at cowering under human-sized shields.  If you take no other action, the shield becomes +4 AC instead of the usual bonus and it grants you damage reduction of 10 points for a wooden shield and 15 points for metal ones.  Any single attack doing double the damage reduction amount shatters the shield.  Reroll if you get this result again.

57-58 In melee you can spend a round to climb on any foe that is  larger than man-sized.  On following rounds you may backstab as a thief.  Use your current level as the guideline for the backstab bonus but it does not advance further as you level up.   In order to buck you off, the monster must sacrifice d3 melee attacks, either all in the same round or consecutively.  You will take 1d6 damage when that happens.  Reroll if you get this result again.

59-61 You may befriend any one monster of animal level intelligence.  It must be solitary when encountered and you must have some tasty treat to offer it.  No dice rolls are necessary, you simply make a new friend who will follow you and be loyal as long as you treat it well.    You may only use this ability once.  Reroll if you get this result again.

62-63 You must have some Tallfellows in your family tree.  Roll on the Elf chart. If you get a result like "Gain a spell slot as usual" you are now in the magic business. Generate a 1st level spellbook that you find on a dusty shelf in your library.

64-65 You must have some Stoors in your family tree.  Roll on the Dwarf chart.

66-68 You’ve gotten really good at blowing smoke rings with your pipe.  Once per battle you can use this power to distract any one creature within 30’ for d3 rounds by directing the smoke to its face.  This is really good for ruining the spellcasting of enemy magic-user types, but melee types still get to attack at -2.  If rolled a second time you can fill an entire 10’ cube with copious smoke, distracting all within.  This can really help with making a quick getaway.  Reroll if this result comes up a third time.

69 Some halflings still know a bit of nature magic.  Gain a random 1st level druid spell as a daily power.  If rolled again, you get a second level spell, etc.

70-72 You are an expert at parlor games, cards, board games, and other frivolous pastimes.  Whenever such things come up, the DM must give you some clear advantage when determining the winner.  This does not include gambling dice, which are unseemly, but does include both poker and chess.  Reroll if you get this result again.

73-74 You’ve got it deep down where it counts.  Once per session you may stay up all night, force march 24 hours, or exhibit some other feat of tremendous endurance with no ill effect.  After the adventure is over you’ll need a week at home with tea, good books, and fuzzy blankets.  Reroll if you get this result again.

75 You’ve gone native.  You can wear shoes or boots and only hate yourself a little.  -2 reactions from

other halfings if they catch you so indecently attired.  Reroll if you get this result again.

76-77 When armed with a single dagger and no shield you get an extra melee attack each round.  Reroll if you get this result again.

78-80 You are just as sneaky in studded leather and ring mail as you are in leather or no armor.  If rolled again, add chainmail to the list.  Reroll the third and subsequent rolls of this entry.

81-83 Party Mascot: It is good luck just to have you around.  Once per session you can grant another party member a reroll on any die throw after the results of the dice are known.  You must be within 60’ of the party member who rolled and you cannot use this power on yourself.  Additionally, if anyone (friend or foe) ever uses a wand of wonder in your presence, you get the choice of two rolls as to the effect.  Subsequent rolls of this entry grant you additional rerolls for party members, but no additional wand of wonder effect.

84-85 You get a Wisdom check before you put anything deadly or nasty into your mouth.  Useful with poison potions as well as the kind of DM who likes to trick PCs into acts of cannibalism.

86-88 You can throw small stones just as effectively (range and damage) as if you had a sling.  Furthermore, if you roll max damage you can bean the foe on the forehead and stun them, knock an item from someone’s hands, or some other cool trick. Reroll if you get this result again.

89 You are preternaturally effective with a thread and needle.  Given d6 turns work you can re-size any magic article of clothing to fit anyone from a sprite to a hill giant. Reroll if you get this result again.

90 Once per session when you get lost your nose will lead you to the nearest source of good food or drink. Reroll if you get this result again.

91-93 Evasive little bugger: Any time you would normally save for half damage, you take only ¼ damage if you save.  If you roll this item again a save for half roll becomes a save for no damage situation.  On a third roll you take half damage if you don’t save, no damage if you do.  If you roll this a fourth time you get nothing.  Do not roll again.

94 Riddle Master: You can challenge dragons, giants, and other fairy tale monsters to a riddle contest  You may not win, but you will delay them at least 1d6 rounds. Reroll if you get this result again.

95 Mr. Filch: Once per session you may pocket any reasonably small item, so long as no one is looking.  Even stuff you can’t reach or that should set off an alarm or trap or something.  You’re not even sure what exactly you did. Reroll if you get this result again.

96-98 You get your choice of two rolls when using a Potions Miscibility Chart.  If your DM does not use a random chart for potion miscibility, send them to me for a stern talking-to. Reroll if you get this result again.

99-00 Roll on the advancement chart for Zak’s Alice class.

Vaults of Vyzor, session #8

July 14, 2017, 2:10 pm

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ROSTER

• Sigismund von Flegelschnecke, gnome fighter/illusionist (Alexei McDonald)

  Moar Lût

• Gary Oldman Badger, badger (NPC pet)
• Yohey the Carpenter, LotFP specialist (Anthony Fournier)
• Harold the Adequate, fighter (Adam Thornton)
• Moar Lût, chalicothere pack ape (NPC)
• Rose Royce, halfling (Kiel Chenier)

I was really stoked about this session as Anthony Fournier and Alexei McDonald had been cool guys to play with in previous sessions and I knew Kiel Chenier (vote for Blood in the Chocolate for Best Adventure) was a cool cat.  And Adam Thornton's Harold the Adequate is a survivor of my two previous online game outings.  I knew I had a stellar bunch and, sure enough, we had a good ol' time.  I am super pleased that Adam was able to bring both Harold and his prehistoric pack ape to the Vaults of Vyzor.

Furthermore, Kiel's PC Rose is the first PC in my campaign to be run under the brand new random halfling advancement rules, just posted yesterday.  Rose got result 59-61:

You may befriend any one monster of animal level intelligence.  It must be solitary when encountered and you must have some tasty treat to offer it.  No dice rolls are necessary, you simply make a new friend who will follow you and be loyal as long as you treat it well.    You may only use this ability once.  Reroll if you get this result again.

This turned out pretty darn great for the party when they opted to explore the vaults below the Verdant Scriptorium.  They explored the northern door in the chamber of the Bargain Wolves, which was surprisingly wolf free this session.  This northern door has been omitted from at least one map of the Verdant Vaults, leading me to suspect that I failed to mention its existence at least one time.  Beyond this door they found a series of small chambers.  One of which is an elevator room that seems to lead as far down as the sixth level, though the party was unwilling to actually exit the elevator and see what was beyond.

Rose Royce

They also found a giant porcupine trapped in a small room by forces unknown (spoiler: it was those dang orcs).  The sound must have cut out a bit as I described the critter, because Kiel had thought that he had befriend a normal porcupine.  It was only much later that he discovered it has 6 hit dice, more hit points than any other party member, and will fuck your shit up.  Seriously, if you've got a first edition Monster Manual, check out how wicked this thing's attacks are.  Warning to FLAILSNAILers: Do not mess with Rose Royce if her pet Pokey is in the room.

They also found in the porcupine room this little stone frog vessel holding a few hundred silver pieces.  Rose declared it the most adorable treasure chest she had ever seen and made sure to haul it out with her when the party exited the dungeon.

The party did a pretty darn good job exploring and mapping out some more of the first level of the Verdant Vaults.  The wandering monsters were just not showing up, much to my disappointment.  This meant that they had free reign of the Great Hallway and adjacent regions, though they steered well clear of the area suspected to be the abode of the giant killer bees.  In one spot they listened through a door and heard a couple-three orcs arguing and searching for something, but what it is that they seek remains unknown.

They also discovered the upper entrance to a pair of dungeon granaries.  One was empty, revealing the access doors at least one level down.  The other had a bunch of grain in it, as well as a dangerous amount of grain dust in the air.  The original key called for an automatic dust explosion in the presence of an open flame, such as the two torches the party were using.  But I decided there should be a small chance the dust doesn't ignite immediately.  That die roll plus the party quickly recognizing the hazard saved their skins.

But we would have had such fun!

But the most interesting discovery by the party was a corridor connecting the first level of the Verdant Vault with part of the dungeon under the previously-inaccessible dungeons below the Azure Tower!  Here they slew a minotaur in bondage gear, who was apparently working as the jailer for a couple of Type V demonesses shackled to a wall with cold iron chains.  After some debate, and a stern talking-to by party old man Harold, they opted not to free the mariliths.  When asked why they were chained to the wall, one replied "because the King of the Elves is a douchebag!"

(Thanks to Skerples at Coins and Scrolls, one of the PCs carried out the biggest hunk of minotaur meat they could manage.  That blog rules.)

The party didn't make it very far into the Azure Vault--the inhuman screams of agony sorta dampened the mood--but thanks to finding the back way in as well as the elevator down, the Vaults are now officially unlocked for higher level characters.  FLAILSNAILS penalties will no longer be applied to PCs above 6th level.

The party safely returned to the surface with all members plus one giant porcupine.  A couple PCs caroused, with Rose borrowing money from Harold the Adequate to do so.  Harold didn't carouse.  In my first online campaign he failed carouse rolls, leading to his marriage to the local alewife, her cuckolding him, and Harold burning down a church or a village or something.  I'm more than half convinced that Harold the Adequate used to adventure for fame and riches, but now he keeps going back because he has a death wish.  Anyway, Rose failed her carouse check and ended up with a bad tattoo for her troubles,  All agreed it had to be a type V demoness with the motto "The King of Elves is a Douche."

---

here's the cleric

July 15, 2017, 3:47 am

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The following chart was designed for the vaguely Christian cleric of typical pseudo-medieval games. You'll probably need to revise this chart heavily if you've got a lot of weird gods in your campaign.

Random Cleric Advancement

Start with a normal undead-turning, no-spell-at-first-level cleric.  Advance hit points, to-hits, saves, and turn undead normally.  For each new spell slot you would normally gain, roll on the following chart instead.

01-05 You gain +1 to hit instead.

06-15 You gain +1 on all saves instead.

16-62 You gain a spell slot as normal.

63-65 Your ability to Turn Undead increases by one level.

66-68 You gain the ability to convert one memorized spell per day into healing of d6 per spell level.   If you roll this at 2nd level you can heal d6 as a daily power.

69-70 You start to hear voices.  Once per session you can ask them a question.  The DM will roll a secret reaction roll check for you.  The truthfulness of the answer will depend on the roll.  Reroll if you get this result a second time.

71-72 You start to see visions.  Once per session you can use clairvoyance, as per the 3rd level MU spell.  If you roll this a second time, you may opt to use wizard eye (MU 4) instead, on a case-by-case basis.  Reroll if you get this result a third time.

73-74 You are really getting into the smiting end of this business.   Any time you roll maximum damage with a melee weapon, your opponent must save vs. paralyzation or be stunned for d3 rounds.  Reroll if you get this result again.  

75-77 You can turn something besides undead once per day.  Roll on the chart below:

1. Demons, devils, etc.
2. Elementals of all sorts.
3. Constructs and robots.
4. Stupid mash-up monsters like owlbears and dracolisks
5. Goblinoids
6. Elves and fairies
7. Lycanthropes
8. Anything cthulhoid and tentacley

Your DM will have to decide the equivalency on their turn charts, based roughly on hit dice.  If you get this result again, roll on the above chart again.  If you get an already-obtained result, your ability to turn that kind of monster goes up to 3x per day. Reroll anything that is already 3x per day.

78-79 Fanatical Followers: Any henchmen or hirelings you obtain who do not already have a strongly documented faith gain +2 morale from your contagious religious fervor.  Reroll if you get this result again.

80-81 Create Holy Water: So long as you can cover the cost of 1gp each for the vials, you begin every new adventure with d6 holy waters.  Reroll if you get this result again.

82-84 Declare a Crusade: Pick a single species of monster or other type of foe that really cheeses you off.  All your party members are +1 to hit and damage against these creatures so long as you are standing with them.  This works up to and including massive army scales.  You do not get the bonus.  If you get this again you must declare a new crusade against someone else. The old bonus no longer applies.

85-86 Last Rites: If you spend 1 turn and sprinkle holy water on a corpse, it cannot return as undead (excepting the occasional revenant).  This has no effect on corpses that are already undead.  Reroll if you get this result again.

87 Power Marriage: You can declare any two sentient beings to be united in holy wedlock, and they will totally go for it, as if they had been in love the whole time.  You can do this exactly once.  Reroll if you get this result again and haven't already used it.

88-89 Pilgrimage: The thing you seek, the MacGuffin or whatever, is located in the tomb of a saint nor more than 4 play sessions away.   You must have a fair shot at it--like any other treasure, but there's no guarantee you will get it. If you don't get it by the fourth session you can keep trying or let it go and roll again on this table. However if you choose to roll again and then you do get the thing somehow anyway, you lose whatever gimmick you rolled. The DM must think up some clever reason why.

90-91 Some servants of the Lord have strange gifts.  Roll on the magic-user spell table equivalent to the highest level spell you can cast.  Add that spell to your own spell list.  If you don’t have any spells yet (e.g. you’re rolling for second level), gain a random 1st level MU spell as a daily power.

92 Future Saint: The site of your death becomes holy.  No undead may enter there and any of your faith who rests here regain spells in half the usual time.  Oddly, this still applies if you are resurrected or raised (don't tell the pilgrims). Reroll if you get this result again.

93-94 You gain a spell slot as usual AND a bonus slot of the level below it.  If you were rolling for a first level slot, you gain two first level slots.

95-97 You gain an acolyte (1st level cleric) as a free henchweenie.

98 Word of your holiness has spread.  When travelling through the countryside, peasants will be happy to feed and shelter  you and your friends in exchange for your divine presence.  They will also hide you from Johnny Law.  The jaded inhabitants of the city require a favorable reaction roll for you to pull this off.  Reroll if you get this result again.

99-100 When you are really in the soup you can call on an angel of the Lord (or whatever) to help you.  Throw two six siders.  Those are the levels of the wandering monster charts the DM should roll dice on.  The DM should combine the two monsters in as horrific a creation as possible (contact with the divine is often terrifying).  Additionally, the creature can fly 180’, is immune to non-magical attacks, and has one special power of the DM’s choosing.  It probably glows, too.  It will perform one service on your behalf, subject to DM interpretation, or join in a single combat.  If you are not in dire straits when you call on it, it will arrive in its vengeful form: roll a third monster to combine with it and now it wants to smite the shit out of you.  You can call on the angel but once.  Reroll if you get this result again and have not summoned the angel. (I.e. you can't bank more than one angelic bail-out.)

Off topic

July 15, 2017, 8:14 am

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Howdy, friends!

I'm doing an informal research project in the lead up to teaching First Year Composition in the fall. If you do ANY sort of writing OR research as part of your profession, please consider following this link to a brief survey:

https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSchr5OpxIm-cC7UvlZmK2cZOiU0enNeTmc_x5xmat6VLqqSiw/viewform?usp=sf_link

No personal info is being collected as part of this research. Thanks in advance for all your help!

One Size Fits Most

July 16, 2017, 7:43 am

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Catch-all Random Advancement

I normally roll with games that use the canonical seven BX classes, but FLAILSNAILS PCs are a motley lot.  This chart is designed for the nice people for whom the existing charts are a less than ideal fit.  

When your weirdo PC goes up a level, you can roll on this chart once, but you have to sacrifice something.  That would take the form of a spell slot you would otherwise gain, your new hit die, a special class ability, a boost to your saving throws or to-hits.  Note that all that stuff can be found on the chart below.  

If there is an existing random advance chart for your class, you can burn a roll on that chart to roll here.  You can only do that once per level.

By the way, many entries on this table is pretty dungeon oriented and may not be appropriate for a campaign with a different focus.

01-02 You get nothing!  Sorry, friend.

03-10 You gain +1 to-hits.

11-17 You gain +2 to-hit with a weapon of your choice, all normal unarmed attacks, or a single spell that requires a to-hit roll.  If you roll this again you must select a different attack.

18-25 +1 on all saving throws

26-34 +2 on one category of saving throw.  If you are a FLAILSNAILer, pick both an old school category like Death Ray and one of the Reflex/Endurance/Will trio.  If you end up in a single saving throw game, this only counts as +1.

35-42 Gain a bonus hit die.  If you are Name Level and no longer getting dice, you get one any way.

43 You gain +1 Constitution.  If this puts you past the max allowed in your rule set (e.g. there are no 19 stats in BX), roll again, but you are allowed to exceed AD&D1-style racial maximums.

44-52 You gain a spell slot of your highest current spell level.  Not a spell caster?  Roll d4 on this subchart:

1. You’ve become a tree hugger.  Each day you get a random 1st level druid spell.
2. You found religion.  Pick a faith if you don’t have one.  Each day you get a random 1st level cleric spell.
3. Turns out you have some previously unknown sorcerer blood.  Each day you get a random 1st level magic-user spell.
4. Find some other weirdo caster class and get a random 1st level spell of theirs each day.

If you are not a caster and end up back here, don’t roll d4.  Instead, give yourself a random 2nd level spell each day, then a random 3rd, etc. up to 6th level.  After that, reroll this result.

53-54 You gain +2 weapon damage against some monster type you fought last session.  You pick.  If can cast spells, you can choose to gain this bonus with spell attacks instead of weapons.  The bonus would apply to individual magic missiles but act as a flat +2 on a single fireball.  If you get this result again you must pick another kind of monster.

55 You gain +1 Wisdom.  If this puts you past the max allowed in your rule set (e.g. there are no 19 stats in BX), roll again, but you are allowed to exceed AD&D1-style racial maximums.

56-57 Subject to any special attacks last session?  If they were the kind that require a saving throw, you are now +4 to save against one of them (like giant spider poison), whether you saved previously or not.  If they were the kind that didn’t get a save (spectre level drain, for instance), you now get a saving throw to avoid.  Specify both the monster type and the attack when you record this bonus.  If you roll this a second time you must pick a different special attack.  If you were not subject to any special attacks last session, reroll this result.

58-60 Admirer: You have attract the attention and adoration of some 0-level numbskull.  If you can get them through 3 adventures without killing them, they become a 1st level henchweenie of your character class.

61 You gain +1 Charisma.  If this puts you past the max allowed in your rule set (e.g. there are no 19 stats in BX), roll again, but you are allowed to exceed AD&D1-style racial maximums.

62 You’re now tougher than leather.  +1 armor class.  Reroll if you get this result a second time.

63 You gain +1 Intelligence.  If this puts you past the max allowed in your rule set (e.g. there are no 19 stats in BX), roll again, but you are allowed to exceed AD&D1-style racial maximums.

64-65 You’re getting quite good with adventuring equipment.  Pick an item on the standard equipment list, something that isn’t a class-specific tool.  You are now an Expert with that kind of equipment.  There’s no mechanics attached to this, but the DM should give you some extra leeway when putting that item to use.

65 You gain the next special ability for your class early.  This is anything of the non-spell slot sort that appears in the far right column of your class progression chart, as well as things like extra attacks, scribing scrolls, reading magic, building castles, etc.  When that item comes up in its regular progression you can double down if that’s possible, otherwise roll again on this chart.

66 You gain +1 Dexterity.  If this puts you past the max allowed in your rule set (e.g. there are no 19 stats in BX), roll again, but you are allowed to exceed AD&D1-style racial maximums.

67 Your last dungeon expedition has left you irrevocably altered.  Roll on the nearest  mutation chart.

68-69 Did you have any conversations with monsters last session?  Even if they were brief or didn’t go well, you learned a valuable lesson on negotiating with them.  +1 reaction rolls with an encountered monster type.  If you roll this again, you must select a different monster or re-roll.

70 You gain +1 Charisma.  If this puts you past the max allowed in your rule set (e.g. there are no 19 stats in BX), roll again, but you are allowed to exceed AD&D1-style racial maximums.

71-73 Your dungeon skills get better.  Your choice of +1 Listen at Doors, +1 Find Secret Door, +1 Open Doors, or +1 Find Traps.  If you roll this again you must pick a different bonus.  If you get all four, reroll the fifth time you get this result.

74-75 You’ve been practicing operating in heavier armor.  You can use your class abilities with the next heavier set of armor.  For example, a thief could sneak around in studded leather or ring mail, a wizard could cast spells while holding a shield, etc.  If you are already an “any armor allowed” type, your armor always counts as one category less encumbering for all purposes (swimming, climbing, leaping, etc.) EXCEPT movement rate.

76 Torch Fighter: you are an expert fighter with a weapon in one hand and a torch in the other.  By warding off attackers you can use the torch as a shield--though it is useless against fireproof entities--or you can make a second attack each round at -4 (your primary attack takes no penalty, so why the hell not?).  The torch works as a d4 club against fireproof beings, but does d6 to all others.  Plus if you roll a 6 you set them aflame.  Sweet. Also, you knwo what you are doing sufficiently that these shenanigans will never extinguish your torch unless you do something like clobber a water weird. Reroll this result if you have already rolled it or if your character has infravision.

77 You gain +1 Strength.  If this puts you past the max allowed in your rule set (e.g. there are no 19 stats in BX), roll again, but you are allowed to exceed AD&D1-style racial maximums.

78-80 Thousand Yard Stare: You are +4 saves against fear effects and never freak out when you see gruesome violence or comrades die.  Part of you is just too dead inside to care anymore.

81-82  New weapon: Pick a weapon forbidden to your class.  You are now proficient with it.  If you already can use any weapon, work with the DM to develop some exotic new weapon your PC can use.

83-84 You know the location of a your heart's desire or simply a spot where a Type H treasure lies.  It is no more than 4 sessions away.  You must have a fair shot at it--like any other treasure, but there's no guarantee you will get it. If you don't get it by the fourth session you can keep trying or let it go and roll again on this table. However if you choose to roll again and then you do get the thing somehow anyway, you lose whatever gimmick you rolled. The DM must think up some clever reason why.

85-86 Dungeon survivor:  If you get hopelessly lost in a dungeon you can make your way out no more than d6 days later.  You emerge naked-- though you may be covered in gods know what kinds of slime, filth and blood--and exhausted, but alive.  You can only save d6 other party members.  If you don’t roll high enough to account for the whole party, you must choose who lives and who dies. You are not allowed to settle this question by die roll, drawing straws, or any other form of cop-out. The responsibility is entirely yours.  You can use this power only once, unless you roll it again.

87-89 Admit it, every adventurer is a thief of sorts.  Gain your choice of Move Silently plus Hide In Shadows (both), Find & Remove Trap, Pick Pockets, Open Locks, Climb Walls, or Back Stab at proficiency equal to your new level.  This ability does not advance unless you roll this again and pick the same thing.  Note that Move, Hide, and Climb won't work in armor heavier than studded leather. If

you already have all these skills, re-roll.

90-91  You’ve developed a seventh sense about the undead.  If the shambling corpse or spooky phantom you’ve just spotted can drain levels, you just know.  Reroll if you get this result again.

92-93 Expert Looter: In any situation where the GP value of loot is determined by die roll, you get the better of two rolls for your share only.  If you have to quickly swipe one item from a trove, you always get the item worth the most.  If you fill quickly fill your backpack, it will always end up at least 50% full with the best stuff available.  This ability has no effect on magic items.  Reroll if you get this result again.

94-95 Your getting good at rolling with the fall.  You take half damage from any fall of 30’ or less, as well as any damage from wrestling throws, trips, bucking broncos, etc.  Reroll if you get this result again.

96-97  Hardscrabble Fighter: Once per combat and before you roll to-hit in melee you can declare that you are fighting even dirtier than usual.  You get +2 to-hit and if you succeed the foe is stunned d3 rounds due to eye gouge, purple nurple, ball crush, etc. Does not work on foes with no discernible weak points.  Reroll if you get this result again.

98-99 An Item Just For You: Unless the DM has already specified the origin of an item, you may declare any found magic item of less than artifact status to be also usable by your class.  Furthermore, it has additional powers ONLY usable by members of your class.  The DM should roll on the same chart that lists the item or the nearest equivalent.  (Example: Not only is that Staff of Curing now usable by death masters, but in their grubby little hands it now also functions as a death masters-only Wand of Illusion!)  You may use this ability just once.  You may roll this result again, but if you have not used the previous roll, you lose both opportunities.

100 You’ve Seen A Lot of Crazy Shit: Once per session you can know a relevant fact about darn near anything.  The DM will make a secret Intelligence check for your character.  If it succeeds, they will be both truthful and informative.  If it fails, they can provide partially correct information, but they aren’t allowed to automatically doom you unless a 20 is rolled.  Reroll if you get this result again.

NOW GO FORTH AND BE WEIRDOS

Or get them all together

July 16, 2017, 10:32 am

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≪ Previous: One Size Fits Most

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Here's a single Gdoc file with all the random advancement charts that Zak and I have done, with a bookmarked table of contents so you don't have to hunt for the one you are looking for.

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1sJo4ev56Hc91sdMBq48Vewu3gYtLBZzis2wZ3yjmF2k/edit?usp=sharing

UPDATE: The doc now includes Reynaldo's Paladin and Anti-Paladin charts!  Sweet!

quick Vyzor update

July 19, 2017, 12:49 pm

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The dotted line represents the unknown depth the last expedition descended via elevator.